The trio of bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, and sadism & masochism may have a history of deviant depiction, but its rise to mainstream popularity in recent years has bred a lot of newfound curiosity. And though it stands on the basic pillars of communication and consent, BDSM can still seem pretty intimidating to anyone who’s new to the scene. However, it’s something many couples can benefit from.

Never fear, Tickle Kitty is here! Ready to help guide your grand entrance into the realm of kink and how to make it work wonders for you and your partner.

How To Bring It Up

It might seem fairly obvious, but ensuring you’re on the same page with your partner about what is and isn’t on the table is an important first step to approaching the kinky waters. Like many things in the world of sex, communication is everything—so of course the same goes for something as intimate as BDSM.

Commonly referred to as hard and soft limits, categorizing all the things you totally would try, might do, and definitely refuse is one of the first things you should do. You and your partner can make your own lists of each, then reconvene and see where mutual interest and compromise can be reached. Making a point to raise the subject outside of the bedroom and in a moment when you have ample time to talk about it are two other important factors to keep in mind when breaching sensitive subjects like these.

Beginner’s Tips & Tricks

First off, educate yourselves. One of the best parts about the Internet is the arsenal of knowledge available at your fingertips. When it comes to something as diverse and well-discussed as BDSM, the online insight is invaluable. Whether together or separately, you and your partner can easily listen to podcasts and read up on countless articles written by all sorts of extremely well-informed sex educators and practitioners. That way, you can also learn some proper techniques beforehand to help prevent accidental injury down the line.

Start out slow. Once you think it’s time to dive in, don’t feel the need to go zero to dungeon master on day one. For as personal as BDSM can (and should) be, establishing your system of communication is essential from the get-go. By this point you should have decided on a safe word and action, which tells your partner to stop what they’re doing immediately if things get too extreme; so prioritize getting comfortable with each other and your actions before ramping up the intensity.

Accessible tricks & toys. Instead of going straight for the electro rods and chastity cages, beginning with more “user friendly” toys is another great way to initially ease into things. Naturally it takes time to find your way, so first experimenting with items like a loosely tied scarf and incrementally sized toys can help avert you from feeling in over your head or intimated. And if sex toys are relatively new territory for you in the first place, even just restraining your lover’s hands while giving them oral, or receiving a sensual massage while blindfolded are great ways to begin your experimentation.

Value aftercare. Regardless of your experience level, aftercare is always a critical note on which to end, too. Dedicating the time to check in with each other after your hot and heavy sesh plays out helps ensure everyone feels good about what just happened and is tended to both physically and emotionally. BDSM can elicit some pretty intense responses, so “coming down” from the experience can be a serious bond strengthener itself.

And above all, never engage BDSM with anyone that you don’t fully trust. Period.

Tools Of The Trade

So once you’ve got your heads wrapped around the approach, a simple selection of toys can be a helpful stairstep into the world of kink.

Blindfolds. Sensation play is a mainstay itself, so a simple blindfold is a non-intimidating way to start getting your sexy sea legs. By covering up the sense of sight, all other senses will be heightened, so brushing a soft feather, silky scarf or plastic Wartenberg pinwheel across your partner’s anticipation-filled body is enough to shift their arousal into a whole new gear.

Impact Toys. Another stereotyped but true common facet of BDSM, spanking can help increase blood flow to certain parts of the body and enhance sensitivity as a result. Although the pros can make it look pretty intense, the fact you can control the level of impact makes it a great beginner technique. Start small with a paddle or crop to get a feel for how your partner likes it, and switch off between sultry spanks and gentle rubs of the same (now much more tender) erogenous zones.

Nipple Clamps. If you aren’t super used to masochism in the first place, a set of nipple clamps can help you learn how to find loads of pleasure in a touch of pain. Regardless of gender, they can also help stimulate multiple erogenous zones at a time with a unique, often adjustable amount of pressure. All while looking super sexy, too!

Restraints. Putting the “bond” in bondage, user-friendly handcuffs can add another level of sexiness when one person takes full control. But instead of the traditional metal lock and key, opting for velcro varieties that can be easily removed, or even bondage tape that only sticks to itself instead of the skin, can take a little pressure off of the first-time performance and allow you to explore with peace of mind.

If there’s one thing we know, it’s that Rihanna isn’t the only fan of chains and whips. As long you act upon them responsibly, kinks and fetishes are perfectly healthy and normal to have. They can expand our sexual horizons and help couples feel closer than ever before, so at the end of the day, never be too afraid of wading into the kinky waters.

Besides, you won’t know whether you like it until to try it.

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Enter the realm of kinky fun with toys from TickleKitty.com:

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From the most straight laced to kinkiest on the block, power plays just as big a role in each and everyone’s sexual dynamic. Of course there are different ways this exchange of power plays out in every relationship, but focusing on exactly how and why to incorporate power play into the bedroom can unleash a whole new dimension of sensual possibilities.

The Principles of Power

In its most basic form, a power dynamic often boils down to the concepts of dominance versus submission. The dominant party being more apt to initiate and call the shots; with the submissive more inclined to take their lead. Which role each partner assumes really depends on what gets them off, and the chosen role might not be as obvious as you’d think. At the end of the day, it’s all about mutual pleasure.

Certainly there are naturally assertive individuals who carry that trend into the bedroom, but other times people who lead more dominant daily lives enjoy handing over the reins to a partner for a euphoric end. The key to establishing these is open communication and honesty about personal desires.

So what’s the real appeal?

Like many things when it comes to sex, playing with power can be appealing to different people for different reasons. Those who dominate may find it pleasurable to take the lead in an intimate setting; while subs may feel liberated from worry by being in the hands of someone they deeply trust. Some may simply like the closeness they feel with their partner, no matter which end of the dom-sub spectrum they’re on.

But individual preferences aside, there’s a slew of benefits many couples collectively find in this erotic escape as well.

Adventure, Spice & Everything Oh So Nice

Depending on how “all out” you really go, power dynamics first and foremost are an exciting way to spice things up. It’s easy to fall into a rut of the same old song and dirty dance, so making subtle (or not so subtle) moves to establish each other’s roles can throw some tantalizing excitement into anyone’s habitual groove.

Something as simple as busting out a pair of handcuffs or bondage tape to restrain the sub’s hands above their head (or a bedpost) can be a great way to ease yourselves into the basics of power play 101. As the dom leads all the kissing, stroking, flogging and other alluring acts to follow, the sub can really let their mind go while knowing they’re both in for a riveting ride.

Playing with power is also a great excuse to venture outside of your comfort zone. We always hear praises of role play in and of itself, so dabbling with power by having one person “boss” the other through a series of seductively steamy acts is an additional way to embrace personas that may satisfyingly stray from your natural tendencies. Pro tip: add some exciting (and maybe surprising) dirty talk to the mix to really take things up a notch.

How To Approach It

So if power play has piqued your curiosity, but you just don’t know how to introduce it to your partner—fear not! It might be a lot simpler than you’d think.

Obviously, communication is key. Approach the subject outside of the bedroom first by expressing interest to your partner, then suggesting which acts you’d be interested in exploring. You two can even make your own individual lists of sexual acts that you either ‘would do,’ ‘might explore’ or are ‘out of the question.’ See where your lists align, then start with those acts. Once those boundaries are established, decide on a safe word that can be said if things get too intense for either one of you. Be sure to communicate throughout the entire experience by asking if your lover is enjoying what’s ensuing, and if any adjustments need to be made.

It goes without saying there’s no pleasure quite like being in sexual sync with a partner; so regardless of your intimate style, there are tons of benefits to be reaped from playing with power. Whether looking to take the full plunge or just get your feet a little wet here and there, it’s amazing the difference a sultry shift of control can make for chemistry between you and your lover. So strap in and buckle up—you never know what you may discover about a whole new side to sex.

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Explore the joys of erotic power play using sex toys from TickleKitty.com :

The post An Intro to Power Play first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

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Orgasm denial can be an intensely cruel game, yet it can also be so excitingly erotic. It will take your orgasms to the next level—if you’re ever allowed to have one that is (I told you it was cruel).

You see, orgasm denial is the practice of being sexually stimulated, but then having the stimulation stop suddenly, and the orgasm denied. Oftentimes, you won’t be the one controlling this. Whether or not you orgasm will be in the hands of your dominant lover.

The Three Main Types of Orgasm Denial

Complete denial is the practice of sexually stimulating and playing with your partner, but never allowing them to orgasm. This can take place over the course of hours, days or even months.

Edging is very similar to orgasm denial, but the ‘denied’ person is actually allowed to orgasm at some point.

Ruined orgasm is when one is stimulated to the point of orgasm, but then stimulation stops mid-orgasm, making it ‘incomplete’ and physically less satisfying for the receiver.

The Benefits

Orgasm denial adds an erotic element of powerplay to your sexual explorations, especially in BDSM communities. By withholding an orgasm, the dom has complete power over the pleasure their partner will receive, and if they ever get to orgasm. The sub enjoys and gets off on the fact they have no control and are in the hands of their dom on what they will or will not receive. Hence, a power exchange.

It’s a great practice if you’re looking to enhance your orgasm control. Your pelvic floor muscles are what contract involuntarily during orgasm. So the more you edge at your orgasm’s tip, the more your pelvic floor muscles are being pumped and exercised. This also keeps your orgasm muscles active and healthy. With more orgasm control, you can learn to last longer, and even learn how to orgasm on command.

This technique is also a great character builder. It teaches you to be patient and gives you the ability to savor the pleasure you do receive. Because when—and if—you finally do orgasm, the explosive release is unparalleled.

Lastly, the practice of orgasm denial can lead to bigger, better and more frequent orgasms. By withholding orgasm for a prolonged time period, the built up sensations lead to an even more explosive release. Who wouldn’t want that? Maybe it’s time you give it a try?

Orgasm Denial Experimentation

The easiest way to experiment with orgasm denial is through masturbation. Set goals to edge yourself up to orgasm say 3-5 times when you’re starting out. So don’t let yourself come until you’ve almost reached orgasm, paused, then restarted. Vary that as you become more comfortable and want to play even more.

With a partner, enjoy mutual-masturbation with edging. Make it a fun game: see who can last the longest receiving pleasure before reaching that point of no return. Whoever orgasms first, loses!

The Best Toys For The Job

Womanizer Deluxe—Orgasm denial via clitoral stimulation is very popular. The Womanizer Deluxe’s unique air-suction technology is designed specially to please the clitoris. And with its super easy-to-use buttons, you can quickly and comfortably switch between the lowest and highest settings, making it the perfect edgeplay accessory.

Le Wand Premium Massager—For those who are into powerplay, this is the epitome of power when it comes to vibrators. Known as the Cadillac of Vibrators, Le Wand is the strongest you can get. If your sub loves a lot of power, then this vibrator that won’t disappoint.

Rocking G Rabbit—Explore edgeplay with triple-stimulation using the Rocking G rabbit vibe. It offers the nice feeling of fullness, with a “self-stroking” G-spot tip and individual vibrating clit tickler. Wow. Now you can control each vibrating pleasure independently and get creative with edging your partner. Switch between G-spot and clitoral action, turn them both on at the same time, or make a fun pattern!

Butterfly Remote Venus Penis—This remote-controlled device gives your partner all the power. Simply insert the wearable vibrator, and hand over the remote, then be a good sub and enjoy the pleasures to come.

Pocket Pulse Penis Vibe—This next-gen penis vibrator offers two unique oscillating motors, and wraps snuggly around his penis. Its unique design allows for hands-free pleasure too! The Pocket Pulse will oscillate on one of his hot spots, the frenulum, or glide it up and down his shaft, stroking him til he’s at the edge.

Satisfyer Air-Pressure Penis Pleaser—Better than a regular handjob, use this masturbator to stroke him until he’s close to climax. Then remove it to show him who’s really the boss.

There’s no denying that orgasm denial isn’t for everyone. It takes a lot of patience to endure such a humbling experience. But, as you learned above, there are many benefits, including more powerful— and better control over—orgasms. And hey, who doesn’t want better orgasms?

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Practice erotic orgasm denial and edging with the help of sex toys from TickleKitty.com :

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Everyone has a fetish, whether they admit it or not. And though some are more ‘open’ in their explorations than others, the fact is there’s a place for everyone across the dynamic spectrum of kink.

In a nutshell, “fetish” is best defined as an object, body part or act that gets someone aroused—regardless if a partner is present and/or involved. About 549 of them exist, and research has found they’re a lot more common than some would believe.

So where exactly do fetishes even come from in the first place? While there may not be token proof, both science and history have a few theories.

Not Just For Dogs

Some scientists have believed for decades that fetishes can develop from the association of a stimulant or experience with arousal. This is called the Pavlovian theory. Since sex is one big connection between mind and body anyway, the idea that repeat exposure incites excitement that mentally sticks has long been both a popular and plausible school of thought.

Childhood Strikes Again

Another prevailing theory is the idea of early exposure. If someone has a sexual experience during or around puberty, many believe it’s more likely to stay with us as we grow older. Like anything else, we grow alongside our sexual behaviors, so memorable moments that occur as we first become aware of our own sexuality could very well have the potential to imprint your mind for years to come.

Nature’s Choice

And of course there’s also the fact it could just be to each their own! Since there’s such a wide range of sexual fantasy among us, it’s definitely possible fetishes could just be another layer of natural diversity. Everyone has their own unique taste and personality traits, so some could just be inherently more susceptible (and easily excitable) than others.

But overall theory is one thing—where do the most popular fetishes come from?

BDSM

Since the dawn of time, bondage has often topped the list of most popular sexual fantasies. So it’s not too hard to believe BDSM has had a place in the zeitgeist long before the likes of Christian Grey.

BDSM practices have been found in some of the oldest records on the planet. The Mesopotamians, Greeks, Romans, Japanese, Etruscans—you name it! Human civilization has been full of freaks since forever, so everything from power play and ritualistic flagellation, to being beaten and bound for pleasure have had their place in the history books for ages…just maybe not the ones we had growing up.

Foot Fetish

Whether it’s high heels or the foot itself, research has shown feet and toes take the cake for most lusted after body parts. But in reality, foot fetishes dates back to the early 1200s when people were afraid of catching the plague (i.e. STDs) from sexual acts. As a solution, they opted to start experimenting in the “safer” territory of foot worship, which society has taken and ran with ever since.

Voyeurism/Exhibitionism

Humans have also always been captivated by nudity and the sexuality of others, so the prevalence of orgies and sex parties throughout history should come as no surprise as well. In addition to its place in art and literature, displays of sexuality have played significant roles in cultures throughout the world since the days of Ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome.

From then on it’s spread like wildfire, carrying on in many forms like sex clubs, live shows and pop culture’s obsession with threesomes. And not to mention its most obvious incarnation since the invention of motion picture—porn! Need we really say more?

If there’s one thing many psychologists can agree on in the end, it’s that fetishes are a healthy, perfectly normal thing to have (as long as they’re carried out between consenting, adult partners). So whether you’re well versed or are still exploring, we all can at least relish in the fact there will never be a shortage of ways to keep things spicy.

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Have some fetish fun with sex toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post Popular Fetishes and the Origins Behind Them first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Popular Fetishes and the Origins Behind Them appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Although nipple clamps might seem pretty self-explanatory (nipples: meet clamps, etc.), to get the most pleasurable experience with them, you’ve gotta know your stuff. Here, Dr. Carol Queen, PhD; Carmel Jones, a sex and relationships expert; and Dr. Sadie Allison, Sexologist and author of Tickle Your Fancy–A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Self-Pleasure, break down everything you need to know about this lo-fi but still highly stimulating sex toy:

1. The feeling isn’t one-size-fits-all. As Jones explains, clamps attach directly to the nipple and increase sensation by clamping down and forcing out the blood flow from the nipple, similar to the feeling of being pinched. Jones says the resulting feeling from the pinch feels dull, almost numb. However, depending on the type of clamp, you can experiment with the intensity of the clamping and/or the slack of the nipple chain, if there is one.

2. They’re good for multitasking. Yes, nipple clamps are great on their own, but as Dr. Queen previously has pointed out, they’re also great for hands-free nipple play. Investing in a pair means you or your partner can focus on other things, like oral sex or bringing different toys into the mix.

3. They’re very popular in the BDSM and kink communities. Although the sensation of a nipple clamp might not be for everyone, it would feel “exciting and intense,” rather than painful, for someone into BDSM.

4. But that doesn’t mean their usage is limited just to the BDSM and kink communities. Jones advises people looking to try out clamps that they shouldn’t be misled into thinking that the toy is exclusively BDSM. “They’re more widely used than you’d think,” she says, and suggests doing more research with an open mind.

5. There are many types of clamps. You can choose from clover, alligator, tweezer, vibrator, and vibrating tweezer hybrids. Clover clamps are usually metallic, and their default pressure is moderate, not light. You can increase the intensity by tugging on the chain and pulling together the clamps’ tips.

Alligator clamps are also metallic, but you adjust the pressure by loosening or tightening the screws at the tips. Most of these have rubber tips, though some might have “teeth” under the rubber to increase intensity. Jones says these are usually a bit harder to use for newbies when it comes to adjusting.

Tweezer clamps literally look like tweezers and often are attached by a chain. These also have rubber tips and usually have small metal rings around the arms to adjust pressure. They’re the most popular, because they’re the easiest to use.

6. For beginners, you can’t go wrong with tweezer clamps or tweezer-vibrator hybrids. Jones says tweezers are the best for beginners, as they’re easiest to use. They’re mild, easily adjustable, and a great “dip your toes” introduction into the wonderful world of nipple clamps. If you wanna ball out and get tweezer ones that vibrate for extra stimulation, even better.

7. They don’t have to be used just on the nipples. “They’re clamps, after all,” says Jones. “The nipple is the ideal place to use them, but if it’s a tweezer nipple clamp, for instance, it can easily double as a clit clamp.” Just make sure you’re not leaving them on for so long that you begin to feel uncomfortable.

8. They’re just as great during foreplay as they are during sex. Clamps are versatile enough that their usage is totally up to you. The idea is to keep the nipples constantly stimulated, as they’re often only paid slight attention to during foreplay and forgotten entirely during sex.

9. You’ll probably want to adjust them during play. “When pressure fluctuates, the blood flow changes, and the nipples don’t ‘settle’ into a certain state,” Jones says of adjusting the clamps’ pressure. To try this on your own, she suggests tugging on the cord, stopping and starting in rhythm to keep your nipples on their toes, so to speak.

10. They’re also fun to experiment with during climax. Dr. Allison suggests wearing the clamps during sex and removing them as soon as you start to climax. Not only will the blood flow rush back into the nipples, but nipple play also releases a chemical in the brain called oxytocin (the same chemical released during orgasms), so you’ll be in for a super-concentrated rush of sensation.

11. The length of time you’ll want them on varies based on tightness. You can leave on looser clamps for as long as 30 minutes and tighter ones for up to 10 to 15 minutes.

12. They’re great for all genders. As Allison explains, “Men and women have the same amount of sensitive nerve endings in their nipples and areolas. For some men, nipple play is an extremely pleasurable and preferred type of stimulation. For others, they may have overlooked this erogenous zone altogether, so it’s worth an introduction.”

This article was originally published on Cosmopolitan.

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Adding nippleplay to sex and foreplay can make your orgasms more explosive. Experiment with nipple toys from  TickleKitty.com:

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Even though Henry Kissinger was not referencing BDSM when he stated, “power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”, he was onto something. The exchange of power is a primary pillar of BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission) and truth be told, experiencing a rush of power as the Dominant or submissive partner can be intoxicating. A misconception about BDSM or kinky sex is that pain is required. This is not true; erotic power exchange simply involves one partner handing over control to the other in a meaningful way.

A classic component of bondage is impact play. This includes spanking, flogging, and even caning. Playful spanking (and other elements of BDSM) can be a gateway to a stronger bond with your lover, and incorporating a sexual fantasy into your repertoire has its rewards:

• It turns your partner on. Is there anything hotter than taking your partner’s sexual excitement into overdrive?
• The communication, trust, and care required is a vehicle to deeper emotional connection and intimacy with your lover.

Here are some basic steps to get your feet wet.

Before

Communication before, during and after any sort of power exchange or BDSM role playing is crucial. This includes establishing a safe word initially to use when either partner wants to immediately stop activity. This can be as lighthearted as the word ‘banana’ or ‘pussycat’. It is okay to change your mind at any given moment if you have reached your personal comfort threshold.

If you are in the research phase for spanking instruments, reach for something already in your home, such as a paddle hairbrush, or a wooden spoon. Note that any tool with a smaller surface area, like a crop, will create a very sharp sensation. For beginners, choosing a tool that makes a ‘thuddy’ sound as opposed to a snap, crackle, or pop will be less painful. Think a wide, fur-lined paddle, or a flogger with thick, soft straps.

During

• Position: For beginners, the traditional over-the-knee (OTK) is a classic position. However, instructing the submissive to lean against an object like a chair is just as reliable as long as the object remains sturdy.
• Placement: Keep impact confined to the peek of the butt and below. Anywhere above could put the kidneys and tailbone in jeopardy. The fleshiest part of the butt should be the bullseye. The ‘sweet spot’ is where the upper thigh meets the butt. By focusing on medium-to intense impact here, the sweet spot is close enough to the genitalia to send pleasurable aftershocks to the testicles or the vulva.
• Pace: Rapid, repeat strikes can be jarring. As the Dominant, take your time and distribute calculated strokes that allow for breathing room and suspense! The element of surprise goes hand-in-hand with spank-induced euphoria.

Aftercare

Whether you spank for pain, pleasure, or both, it will result in a rush of adrenaline and release of endorphins. Effective aftercare can range from:

• A verbal re-cap to discuss what was good, or what you may want to change next time
• Eating chocolate to replenish oxytocin
• Kisses, light strokes or a massage to promote relaxation
• Applying lotion or chilled aloe vera for cooling relief (unless you enjoy the pain and prefer to bask in the sting)

Pro tip: Always keep an open mind, and don’t knock it ‘til you spank it!

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Experiment with spanking and other BDSM pleasures with sex toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post Spanking 101: What to Do Before, During and After first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Spanking 101: What to Do Before, During and After appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Now that Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism–otherwise known as BDSM–have hit peak popularity in mainstream media, strictly-vanilla couples are curious to see what all the fuss is about. Even Fifty Shades can make dipping into bondage and blindfolds seem a bit intimidating, but with a bit of patience and a gentle touch, anyone can safely and pleasurably take kinky sex for a spin.

If you’re a newbie to using toys and accessories to dominate and stimulate, it’s best to begin with some basic BDSM moves that enhance sensation. These 5 introductory BDSM suggestions are a sexy and easy way to add some flavor to your usual routine. Just remember the Golden Rule of kinky sex: always talk about what you plan to do and get your partner’s consent before you start the naughty action.

1. Sensory Deprivation

Teasing your partner with the gentle element of surprise is an enticing way to begin foreplay. Ask your partner to sit in a comfortable chair or lie down on the bed. Using a silky blindfold or soft piece of fabric like a neck tie, bandana, or light scarf, cover your partner’s eyes and gently secure the fabric behind their head. Removing the sense of sight heightens your other 4 senses, so everything you taste, touch, smell, or hear will send extra tingles down your spine. Imagine how lush a whip cream-covered strawberry will taste, or how much a tickling feather will turn on your blindfolded partner? For newcomers to sensory deprivation, introduce the blindfold without any wrist or ankle restraints. Kiss and gently touch your partner to ease them into the darkness, and ask them to vocalize what they feel with every stroke, tickle, and caress.

2. Spanking–With a Twist

Spanking is a BDSM staple with a common misconception. Leave the heavy leather floggers in the dungeon and start with the adorable, ribbon-adorned Heart Beat Crop. Getting spanked is more about increasing blood flow to certain areas of the body, which increases sensitivity to your partner’s touch. Try this little experiment if you find yourself associating spanking with pain. Choose a sexy accessory like the Tickle Time Feather, or grab a regular hair brush from your bathroom. Notice how it feels to run the feather or brush bristles over your palms. Now clap your hands a few times–not so hard that it hurts, but just hard enough that your palms start to turn red. Immediately brush the feather over one of your palms, or use the hair brush to gently scratch and press into your skin. Feels a lot more enticing after clapping, doesn’t it? The same concept works for your butt, thighs, arms, or anywhere else on your body that you want to gently increase sensation.

3. Silk-Tied Wrists

Now comes the B in BDSM–bondage, and it can be just as sensual and soft as the rest of your foreplay. Use a beginner’s cuff like the Comfort Handcuffs, or another soft fabric similar to your DIY blindfold, and bind your lover’s wrists in a comfortable position above their head, behind, or in front of their body. If you’re brand new to bondage, don’t tie your homemade cuffs too tight, and make sure your partner can wiggle their arms and wrists. As you gently move their arms into place, whisper sexy-sweet nothings in their ears about all the orgasmic pleasure they’ll receive once tied up. Trust us, they’ll let you know if and when they’re ready for you to get rougher.

4. Suction Sensations

Just like spanking, using gentle suction on erogenous areas like the nipples or clitoris pulls blood to the surface of the skin, resulting in extra sensitivity and even stronger orgasms. Use a pair of nipple suction toys, like the Nipple Play Suckers, or a vulva pump like the
Intimate Embrace Vibrating Vulva Pump a few minutes at a time. Remove the suction and give your lover’s puffed-up nipples or vulva a long, soft kiss or a warm lick. Then work your way up to 5 – 10 minutes of sucking pressure. The longer you leave them on, the more they’ll feel when you switch from the toy to your mouth. When you’re both ready for the next step, mix suction toys with a bit of light bondage, a blindfold, and killer oral sex.

5. Say It Sexy

Dirty words are the icing on the BDSM cake. A submissive’s pleas of “yes, mistress” are like music to a dominant’s ears, and obedient subs don’t dare make a move without a command from their Domme. If playing master and servant isn’t exactly your thing, you can still take a cue from kinky lifestylers and work dirty talk into your routine. As with all BDSM activities, have a thorough discussion with your partner before you scream “you’re my nasty little slut!” in the throes of passion. Find the words that turn you and your partner on the most by whispering them into each other’s ears before you take your clothes off. One person might enjoy hearing they’re gorgeous and great in bed, while someone else might get off on more aggressive talk and sexual demands.

The best part about BDSM–and sex overall–is that you have complete freedom to turn up the heat or slow things down to the intensity that works for you. Always take small steps and communicate with your partner as you both navigate from vanilla to kink. You never know when you’ll find your next favorite bedroom activity!

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What better way to explore your kinks than with sex toys from TickleKitty.com:

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