For many, the idea of a threesome is the ultimate fantasy. Pleasing or getting pleased by two people at the same time? Sign. Us. Up. We’ve all seen porn, so we know that threesomes can be all-out pleasure fests. But, as with most things in porn, the fantasy doesn’t always translate in reality. At least was the case for these poor folks. Here are a few real-life tales of threesomes gone wrong.

A Respectful Twosome

“I was dating two waitresses simultaneously, both of whom were in other relationships. One night we all ended up in the same bed. One of them was an animal, and the other one was a bit more shy. So confronted with the situation, the shy one wasn’t keen on the threesome. So instead of being an asshole I very respectfully shagged the other one while the shy one went to sleep.” — Dane, 35

Failure to Report for Duty

“Two of my women friends got horny enough to suggest we all have a threesome. This was going to be my first one, so I basically geared up for the greatest night of my life. When I got to the apartment, everything was working just as it was supposed to until my soldier decided to not show up for duty, if you know what I mean. I think I got stage fright. Cut to me in the bathroom yelling at my dick to stand up, saying ‘This is our moment, buddy!’ When I came out of the bathroom the two of them had already started with each other and I still wasn’t responding so I just went home. I was depressed for two days.” — David, 34

‘Hooker’ is Not a Compliment

“My partner and I brought another guy back to our place for a fun night of play. When I was giving him a blowjob, he started saying, in broken English, ‘you blow like a hooker.’ My partner couldn’t stop laughing and eventually we had to ask our new friend to go home.” — George, 39

Freudian ‘Slip’

“My husband really wanted a threesome, so I decided before we got married I’d make it happen for him. We had one rule: he didn’t put it in her. Everything was going fine, we were all in heap with flailing limbs and people kissing parts and I was insanely turned on. I mouthed to him, ‘finger her.’ I guess in his euphoria he interpreted it as, ‘fuck her.’ He started to put his penis in her, so I freaked out and ran out of the room crying. That was the last we ever dabbled in threesomes.” — Lauren, 33

Master of None

“I’m not a newbie to threesomes. I’ve actually had quite a few in my day. I love them, but only when I’m the guest star. I couldn’t deal with the emotional fallout after a threesome if I was in a couple. Especially when the man in the relationship yells out the name of a woman who wasn’t even part of that particular threesome. Oh yeah, that happened. And his wife was not okay with it.” — Becky, 42

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The post Tales of Threesomes Gone Wrong first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Tales of Threesomes Gone Wrong appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.