Don’t be frustrated if your guy is having problems finding your G-spot—it can be tricky, which is why I suggest taking matters “into your own hands” when it comes to discovering your G-spot, the kind of stimulation you prefer, and what your unique sexual response is like.
Ever since German researcher Dr. Grafenberg identified the elusive erogenous zone in the 1940s, the G-spot has been a hot topic among sex scientists—and the women who have them.
While there’s been a lot of debate, the truth is, every woman has a G-spot. The G-spot is simply a nick-name for the “urethral sponge”, the soft spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra (named after Dr. Grafenberg). The urethral sponge engorges with blood during sexual arousal, and protects the delicate urethral cord during intercourse. And as it turns out, this spongy tissue can be incredibly arousing when stimulated. This is not the case for all women, but for the ones who swear by it, I say it’s worth exploring.
But no pressure ladies. The G-spot is just another pleasure zone to add to your repertoire. It may become your new BFF, something that you enjoy once in a blue moon, or something that’s just not your thing. Wherever you fall on the spectrum is perfectly fine. Here’s a few things to consider as you begin your self-love G-spot explorations:
1. Prep for Your G-spot Journey
There are lots of positions from which you can discover your G-spot. An easy one might be on your back, with plenty of pillows propped up behind you for support. Settle in, turn on your most sensual tunes or light your favorite scented candle. You need to be fully in tune with your body to discover new sensations, so you want your mental space to be calm and ready. Generously apply lubrication to your vulva and middle fingers.
2. Get Feelin’
Gently insert your fingers into your vagina a couple inches in from the vaginal entrance, and bend them toward the front wall in a “come here” finger position, applying pressure toward the pubic bone. Initially, the G-spot will feel like a small mass of rigid, firm tissue about the size of a dime. Stroke the upper vaginal wall with your finger, pressing around and feeling for this small mass of tissue. Remember: The vaginal canal doesn’t have many nerve endings. When you experience new, unique feelings, you’ve likely found the G-spot.
The G-spot’s location differs from woman to woman, so take your time and discover the location of your personal pleasure spot. Pay attention to the feelings you induce as you touch and explore. Be open to these feelings and learn to enjoy them. It could take many sessions of playing and experimenting with your G-spot to really feel these sensations from stimulation, so be patient.
3. Grab Your Fave G-spot Toy
One or two fingers may not sufficiently stimulate the G-spot to become fully aroused. Some women need to be “filled up” with a G-spot dildo or vibrator to enjoy it. Take your G-spot dildo and apply lube to it. Let your mind travel to a comfortable and uninhibited state. Take a moment to play with yourself by engaging in manual clitoral stimulation or finger penetration. After you reach a heightened state of sexual arousal, slowly insert the G-spot dildo into your vagina with the curved tip pointing upward. Experiment with different strokes and pressure against the vaginal wall as you would with any type of penetration, getting familiar with this erogenous zone. Now apply extra pressure on the G-spot with the tip of the dildo fully inside, at the top and toward the belly.
Dr. Sadie Sez: Remember, this unique pleasure spot requires firmer pressure and quick rubbing strokes, not in-and-out thrusting. Don’t be alarmed if you feel the urge to urinate. Remember, the G-spot surrounds the urethral cord, so that’s par for the course.
4. Try External G-spot Play
As you feel your way through the different sensations while exploring your G-spot, use your other hand or a vibrator to incorporate clitoral stimulation. This combination of G-spot and clitoral stimulation creates pure delight for many women. You can also enhance G-spot stimulation with pressure from the outside. While your G-spot dildo is snug inside and firmly rubbing against your G-spot, use the flat of your free hand to push down firmly on your abdomen (the lower stomach just above your pubic hair line). This is known as “external G-spot stimulation.” The combination of internal and external pressure may be quite pleasurable.
Now pump away with your pelvic muscles, building toward orgasm. Close your eyes to fully feel and enjoy all the stimulation you’re providing. Focus on the clitoris and the orgasmic feelings you’re inducing. Again, since the clitoris is the main source of orgasm, adding this to G-spot play can help you achieve orgasm and intensify the overall experience.
As with all techniques, breathe in and exhale deeply while you build your orgasm. When you achieve orgasm, the added pleasure of G-spot stimulation may take your breath away. Some women feel as if they’re having two types of orgasm at the same time. It’s perfectly natural for some women to ejaculate when they climax from G-spot orgasms, so don’t mistake this for urine.