Why It’s OK To Masturbate In Relationships

Talk of masturbation tends to be non-existent, or in hushed whispers. It’s pushed into the dark corners of society, and shoved under the covers of films, even though it’s natural, and almost everyone does it. The subject really should be introduced with the glitter and pristine unicorns it deserves because it is absolutely magical to say the least. To think about masturbation, let’s first think about having an orgasm from sex. That kind of orgasm is like hearing your favorite song on a jukebox at a diner with blinding sun shining through glass windows— it’s amazing. What masturbation is, is now having that same song conveniently on your iPhone, handing YOU the control of how many times your song is played, when it is played, how it is played, and the duration of that song. Ah, deee-licious.

Personally, the first couple of times I had sex I didn’t understand what the big deal was— that is until I masturbated for the first time. Masturbation taught me what an orgasm felt like, and what I was missing out on in my relationship. By feeling that sudden surge of electricity on my own, I was able to up my chances of feeling that with a partner.

Touching myself was key to my sexual experience. It was taking pleasure into my own hands, like tasting chocolate for the first time… but with my vagina. Without trying it, I might have never known what that indescribable rush of reaching the big O felt like. Masturbation came in handy not only in my sexual debut, but throughout all of my adult relationships. Here’s 5 reasons why masturbation is awesome, and OK to do while being fully committed to someone else:

Masturbation can enhance your sex life.

When you touch yourself, you better understand the circuitry of your body. You learn what feels amazing and what feels plain wrong. Once you know where your g-spot is, and what makes your eyes roll, you can write some cheat codes for your lover to plug in. You can also go to town on yourself during sex (since vaginal orgasms are rare), or use your skills to distract yourself if you ever decide to try anal on for size. Another bonus to masturbation is that if you watch porn while you play, you might learn some new tricks you can use on your partner, or have your partner try on you.

Masturbation relieves stress.

It turns out an orgasm a day can keep the doctor away. Carving out time for pleasure helps ease your mind and focus on something fun for a change. According to HuffPost, “masturbation… reduces depression by increasing the amount of endorphins in the bloodstream,” and helps prevent cancer, diabetes and cystitis. Furthermore, the less stress you experience, the happier you’ll be all around, which could help prevent fights or rough patches in your partnership.

On top of these health benefits, learning your body is also a great way to love yourself, and make sure the person you love is loving you right.

Masturbation can lead to a fun sexual buildup.

Not only is masturbation healthy, but it can add fire to your relationship. If you and your partner only touch yourselves for a week, you will burn for each other. If you truly trust your partner you can send videos or Skype while touching yourself in front of him or her. The anticipation from masturbating alone can ignite some firework-worthy sexcapades when you decide to reunite in the bedroom.

Masturbation can reinforce your sense of independence in your relationship.

Masturbation is helpful when your partner’s libido is on a different wavelength than yours. Perhaps your schedules aren’t matching up, your partner has been too tired lately, or just not in the mood. Whatever the reason maybe be, unless you’re dating a Duracell sex bunny (a.k.a me) your partner isn’t always going to be down for a roll in the hay. When that happens, you don’t have to wait around for someone to make you feel good. Masturbation is an empowering reminder that you don’t NEED a partner or relationship to orgasm. So use your hands, or better yet, use toys to scratch your own itches when your boo isn’t feeling it. Who knows, you might even unlock your first multiple orgasm in doing so, hell I know I did.

Masturbation is simply another form of you time.

In every relationship, it’s more than healthy to take some time apart from each other, and do your own thing. You take time to do your hair, your nails, so why not also take some time to do you? There’s no shame in doing so. You wouldn’t feel bad about playing Solitaire, would you? After all, there’s a reason Britney Spears and other artists have sung songs about tooting their own horn. The only way to uncover what their musical muse was is to find out for yourself.

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Jessica Wendroff

Jessica Wendroff

Jessica Wendroff is a Writer at Teen Vogue, among other companies. She has had articles tweeted and shared by celebrities such as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Playboy Model Abby Parece. Follow her on Facebook, Insta and Twitter @jesswendroff. Full bio and more articles by Jessica.

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