7 Things You Can Actually Learn From Porn

A lot can be said about the ills of pornography, and some of it might even be true. But, like with any controversial issue, there’s always another side to the coin. So while religious leaders and political figures pass their—oftentimes hypocritical—judgments on this particular industry, it’s time to remind everyone that it’s not all bad. In fact, there are actually some positive things that can be learned from porn. In no particular order, here’s our Get-Lucky Seven:

1. Female orgasms matter.

Unless you’re talking about fetish videos specifically about women as sexual slaves (not that I would know anything about these types of pornos), you’ll notice that the women in porn scenes nearly always climax before the man finishes. And that’s actually super admirable. Great job, porn.

2. Saliva is a decent lubricant.

Whether it’s an erotic video or photos, these porn scenarios usually begin with oral sex before leading directly to intercourse. It’s a natural progression, perhaps even dictated by human instinct. In addition to being an excellent form of foreplay to arouse both partners, it readies the participants to take things right to the next level. And if you use a water-based lubricant, a little saliva is a great way to bring your lube back to life when it dries up.

3. Foreplay first.

Sure, it usually begins with an absurd scenario, like a repairman coming to the house, and the girl answering the door scantily clad. I don’t know why they feel the need to create a story, but I suppose it’s sometimes appropriate to set a scene that will appeal to a particular kink. Regardless, the fun usually begins with a kiss, and that’s good! Then comes the undressing, kissing and touching elsewhere. Before too long, they’re both in a frenzy and the penis goes into the vagina. This is an appropriate lesson to be learned for the chronology of good sex.

4. Talking and being vocal makes sex better.

While couples often feel the need to be quiet because others (perhaps children) may be in an adjacent room, or just down the hall, a little dirty talk never hurt anyone, and you can whisper if you have to. Don’t be shy. It’s fun to involve all the senses during sex, so if you’re not communicating with one another, things can get boring fast. Things like moaning will let your partner know you’re into them, and that you’re in the moment. But if you really want to turn up the heat, go ahead and talk dirty to each other!

5. It’s all about the clitoris.

Yeah, chew on that for a second, ladies. I can’t imagine how awful a lover I must have been as fumbling teenager my very first time. I sure as heck didn’t know what a clitoris was, or its importance, but I quickly learned once I discovered porn. I’m sure most ladies will be thankful to be with a lover who can hit the ground running, rather than trying to explain to him the anatomy of the vulva. If he still needs an explanation, get him a copy of Dr. Sadie’s clitoris guide, The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris–Orgasmic Fingertip Touching Every Woman Craves for some helpful illustrations and technique tips.

6. What do men want?

This one’s for the ladies, of course. Given that a vast majority of porn is geared toward men, it can be a valuable insight for women wanting to learn what makes men tick sexually. While it’ll come as no surprise that we’ll never turn down a blowjob, there’s much more to be gleaned, like that role-playing can be a lot of fun, for instance, or that we wouldn’t mind watching you play with yourself. While the circumstances are usually laughable in porn, situations can be a big turn-on for guys. Remember, what you see in porn is what many of us are fantasizing about when we masturbate. We’re really not very complicated, so throwing the spice of fantasy into the mix will never hurt.

7. Learn what you’re into.

There’s probably stuff out there you’ve never dreamed of, and you might just like it! Exploring pornography can actually teach you a lot about yourself, and what your particular turn-ons are. Once you know what you like, you’ll be a better lover, as long as you’re able to communicate it. Everyone has one or two kinks that are arguably weird, but when you’re open about, you’ll find your partner will usually be happy to play along.

So what do you know? Maybe porn ain’t all that bad after all. I wouldn’t exactly call them instructional videos, but there are quite a few things you can learn from watching pornography. And you can totally use that defense if your girlfriend stumbles upon your browser history.

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