Can being labeled a sex addict boost your career in Hollywood? Sure it can and it hasn’t hurt celebs like David Duchovny who voluntarily entered a treatment facility for sex addiction or Michael Douglas who was labeled a sex addict by his ex-wife or Gene Simmons and Charlie Sheen who both reportedly had sex with thousands of women. Super model Amber Smith was a contestant on VH1’s Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, so it’s not just men who suffer from sex addiction.
Tiger Woods is probably the most unlikely celebrity you would ever expect to be categorized as a sex addict. The most successful golfer of all time, married to a beautiful model wife with two children was tempted by multiple women with the list of lovers growing each day. So does Tiger fall into the category of (70%) of men who seek the satisfaction of sexual fantasies through cheating or is he a sex addict?
A sex addict is someone who has a compulsive sexual disorder and can’t control him or herself. Here are 12 symptoms of a sex addict:
- Do you think about sex so often that it interferes with your concentration?
- Are you obsessed with a specific sex act such as oral or anal sex?
- Do you find your sex habits are affecting your ability to manage your life?
- Do you feel you are entitled to have sex with whoever you want?
- Would life have no meaning without sex?
- Do you think that sex is the only thing that really gives you value?
- Do you use sex as an escape from your problems?
- Have you ever had sex with someone you didn’t even like?
- Do you keep a list of the partners you have had sex with?
- Do you thrive on the “high” that sex and the risk of being caught?
- Are you unconcerned about catching an STD?
- Do you feel powerlessness over controlling your sexual urges?
If your answers to all of these questions is “yes,” then you have the propensity towards sexual addiction and like all addictions, treatment begins by recognition that you have a problem. Seek professional guidance; understand that you are destroying a family, reputation, income or career instead of denying the problem and making excuses for your actions. Don’t use sex addiction as a way to cope with your stress and don’t blame others for your sex addiction.
Root causes of sexual addiction include:
- Psychological and emotional disorders such as paranoia
- Personality disorders such as schizophrenia
- Childhood trauma such as rape
- Stress and escapism from problems
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder
- Neurological disorders such as epilepsy
- Hereditary. One study found that 80% of recovering sex addicts reported some type of addiction in their family’s origin.
- Biochemical abnormality. The brain tells the sex addict that having illicit sex is good the same way it tells over-eaters that over eating is good.
- Abusing power and feeding the ego to control others sexually
- Dependent personality disorder
- Narcissistic personality Disorder
- Impulse control disorder
There are three-stage progressions in becoming addicted:
- In the first stage, the person actually believes that his or her addiction is healthy, normal and pleasurable.
- In the second stage, the person has conflicting thoughts about whether or not the addiction is healthy, normal and pleasurable.
- In the third stage, the person realizes that they are addicted and feels unhealthy, abnormal and more pain than pleasure, yet he or she maintains and feeds the addiction.
Sufferers can destroy their lives by cheating, getting arrested for public nudity, losing your job because of inappropriate behavior, or having to deal with a major health crisis due to unsafe sex.
There are various treatments to help people with sex addiction, including psychotherapy, 12 Steps program, Project Know, SAA, Smart Recovery, ACA and religious intervention. All of these methods are legitimate and have worked for many people, but not for everyone. Each person is unique and needs to follow a custom plan of action to help them overcome their sexual addiction.
I call my approach, Tantric Solutions to Sexual Healing:
As an AASECT Certified Sex Counselor, I’ve helped clients with sexual compulsion by introducing them to Tantric sex, which channels that energy in a more positive, healthy and spiritual direction.
Tantra has been around for over 5000 years and it’s still around, so it must have some value to it. We are having a resurgence of it now because people are looking for natural and spiritual ways of healing. You have to open up to your emotional and sensory feelings when learning Tantra. Through Tantra you can begin the journey of sexual healing, the deepest form of healing which includes forgiveness of self and others, reconnecting with yourself, letting love in and creating your own healthy love life. Meditation is part of this powerful program and is used with the intention of reaching altered states of awareness. Tantra is a spiritual form of self-express and lovemaking that can show a sexually addicted person a new healthy way to give and receive love.
For more information on Tantric Sex , click here.