Netflix has become such a powerful pretext when setting up romantic encounters, it is often recognized as a verb. And now is your chance to capitalize on it.
There’s two effective strategies one can use when they are attempting the ‘Netflix and chill’ technique:
The first, is to put on a film containing such a painfully slow build up, the two of you will be forced to fool around to save yourselves from boredom.
Or the second, is to play something so titillating, your pants will mysteriously fall off and go missing indefinitely.
If you plan on using the second method, you’re in luck, because we have carefully curated our top 11 movies on Netflix which will get you in the mood below.
1. Blue Is The Warmest Color
Do you remember your first crush? Not the silly primary school one, but the one which came full-force as you discovered your sexuality. The one that made you a desire filled, ball of sexual emotion. This movie will remind you.
It’s about a 15 year-old girl who finds this in a blue-haired artist named Emma, and follows their passionate relationship into adulthood. We don’t say this lightly: the film is a masterpiece. But you’ll discover this if you can make it the whole way through, without having to pounce on the person sitting next to you.
2. A Teacher
Catering to every man’s inner child, who felt as though they missed out by not experiencing a steamy affair with their teacher, this movie will reawaken that forgotten desire. And once that desire is unleashed, it might be a great time for a little teacher and student sexual roleplay.
Let the movie play on in the background, because to be honest, the movie as a whole only gets a C+ from us. The sex scenes get an A, though.
3. Nymphomaniac: Vol. 1 & 2
A notable quality of this movie is that it features unsimulated sex — kind of like how porn does — which makes it a perfect movie for couples who are thinking of introducing pornography into their relationship.
However, this movie is not a wise choice if you were planning the ol’ Netflix and chill technique.
Not only would the title foil your pretext almost instantly (unless your date isn’t familiar with big, medical-like terms), but the entire movie is essentially just a bunch of sex. It follows a girl, and her adventures in sex.
4. Sex and Lucia
Aside from being a cinematic masterpiece, which has earned all kinds of awards and praise, this movie is incredibly sexy. From the gorgeous actors who will demand your admiration, to the kinky and passion-filled sex scenes, this movie will charm your hearts — and your genitals.
There’s this one scene where two lovers cover each other’s naked bodies in mud, and well, it’s like that messy pottery scene from Ghost, but on Viagra. If you don’t have any mud handy, we highly recommend recreating this scene with our Slippery Kitty lube.
5. Basic Instinct
This movie has the most iconic vagina scene of all time.
If that isn’t enough for you, it features Sharon Stone in her prime, seducing a helpless Michael Douglas, who’s trying to conduct an investigation on her for murder. But the only investigating he seems to be able to conduct is on her naked body. We really can’t blame the guy, though.
Suggestion for the ladies: tell your man you aren’t wearing panties either, after Sharon Stone’s incredible vagina flash.
6. Indecent Proposal
Not only is this movie from the 90s highly sexual, it will also set you up to be a hero. Let us explain how…
The movie is about a couple who goes broke and is offered 1 million dollars by a billionaire to sleep with the wife. Now, you just know if you put this movie on, your partner is going to ask you what you would do if you were offered this proposal.
This is your chance to shine and get yourself so very laid. You can say no, or playfully say something like, “No, It’s 2015. He would have to account for inflation.”
7. Ghost
This movie will cater to the women with all the cheesy romantic elements and a young, statuesque Patrick Swayze. And it will cater to the men with Demi Moore, who is basically a demi-god of sex.
Just make sure not to make a move until after the pottery scene. We can’t express this enough. The pottery scene will put your lover into your hands like soft clay, ready to be molded and massaged the way you both like it. As a whole, this movie will awaken a spectrophilia you didn’t even know you wanted.
8. Eyes Wide Shut
Like most of Kubrick’s work, this piece is entirely enigmatic, and open for many interpretations. Among many other things, its been analyzed as an expose of the illuminati by conspiracy theorists, who believe Kubrick’s mysterious death four days after its initial screening to Warner Bros. is all related.
But the flick also has a lot of sexy times, and will definitely get everyone in the general vicinity in the mood.
9. Boogie Nights
Okay, so far we’ve covered sexual relations with intergalactic species, ghosts, the illuminati and Michael Douglas. So it’s only fitting that we include one about a young busboy who becomes a porn star.
With the eye candy of Heather Graham, Julianne Moore, Mark Wahlberg, and Burt Reynold’s facial hair, set to the backdrop of the groovy 70s, this movie will make you feel rather randy. It might also inspire you to bring back ridiculous 70s parlance.
When the credits roll, put on a sexy 70s playlist and boogie all night long.
10. Fatal Attraction
The late 80s/ early 90s was a great time for Michael Douglas to find himself wrapped up in sexy psychological thrillers. Similarly to Basic Instinct, he is seduced into more trouble than he bargained for, except this time it comes in the form of a vengeful Glenn Close, who loses her mind after she is part of an extramarital affair. Oh that Michael Douglas, will he ever learn?
We give it two thumbs and one boner up.
11. Barbarella: Queen Of The Galaxy
This fun and sexy sci-fi gem includes a highly promiscuous Jane Fonda getting frisky with various intergalactic species. Which was like what Captain Kirk’s side mission was in Star Trek, except Kirk could never look as good in a tight spacesuit.
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll probably get really horny.
***
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Blue is the warmest color is completely in french with subtitles, just so everyone knows. lol
C’est vrai, merci beaucoup!
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