As I sit down to write this, I can’t help but reminisce about my extensive history of first dates. The tragedies, the successes, the embarrassments—I’ve had a prolific dating career. Picture Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother, but the kids have stopped listening, moved out of the house, and put dad in a home because he’s still rambling on about his dating adventures.
In all of these encounters, here are some things my dates did to me which weren’t okay:
- Went on a maudlin tirade about their ex-boyfriends.
- Catfished me (not once, not twice, but thrice).
- Left with a member of the band we were watching.
Here are some things I did which weren’t okay:
- Passed out on the dinner table.
- Gifted fake flowers.
- Spent the night on my date’s bathroom floor.
The above misadventures weren’t so great. In fact, they were awful. But
these instances take us to our big question: Should we consider copulation on the first date to be socially acceptable? Well, if you were to ask me if sex, which is oneof the most powerful transfers of love and positive energy, is okay on the first date, I will always answer YES.
But it doesn’t matter what I say. And don’t worry about what your parents may have drilled into your head. Forget what society has told you, what your friends think, or what your sex ed teacher taught you. Most importantly, don’t allow your date to convince you.
It’s only okay to make whoopie on the first date if you feel whoopie is okay on the first date. You and only you can make that decision. This is your marvelous experience as a human being. That towering thing of flesh, and bone, and swaying extremities is yours, and how you want to use it is entirely up to you.
I will share this, though: if what’s holding you back is a fear that maybe it’s taboo or even trashy, and you’re worried you’ll be led down a dark path, then always remember…
Sex is an act of love. If you’re using it with good intentions—not to make someone jealous, or to cause pain—but to share the magic, bliss, energy, and the synchronization of two spiritual beings at a vibrational level,
all of which this act creates, then it cannot be considered anything but good. There’s a reason it’s referred to as “making love.” So when you feel safe and comfortable with your date, and the chemistry was reactive, then feel free to express your feelings with your hips.
But please, please, PLEASE… As always, use your best judgment. If you’re looking for a serious relationship to commence with this act, then it might be a good idea to express these intentions beforehand. Some people are of the opinion that when you have sex on the first date, it is implied to remain a one night stand. It’s also important to be wary of players, fuckboys, and heartbreakers, who may lead you to believe they have the same long-term interests as you, but in reality, seek to deceive you.
All that said, sex on the first date is not something which should be frowned upon. In fact, I believe first dates need to include more coitus. Lots more coitus. Maybe even more anal, but I’m not going to get into that right now. The things that first dates need less of are catfishing, stand-ups, and fools who thought they could handle several jagerbombs at dinner.
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