slow burning sensuality: the art of edging

What if I told you that the holy grail of orgasms has nothing to do with an intricate sex position, a magic pill, or even a partner? This ‘secret’ is a technique called edging, otherwise known as orgasm control. Anyone of any experience level can incorporate edging into their arsenal of bedroom tricks. Additionally, you may hear it being referred to as ‘surfing’ or ‘peaking’. This pleasure practice focuses on delaying climax one or more times during intercourse or masturbation, stoking a slow, intentional fire that will result in an orgasmic explosion like no other.

Think of the amplified feeling of gratification that happens the moment you tips from a self-proclaimed squirting expert finally achieve a sneeze, after losing it several times beforehand. The first climax after partaking in edging is much like that coveted sneeze, if you can imagine it being relocated to an erogenous zone. Just like a delayed sneeze, the more times you ‘lose’, or delay your orgasm, the more powerful it becomes.

Bringing yourself to the brink of climax is not for everyone; the 60 second orgasm may be your cup of tea, and that is a wonderful thing! Overall, the purpose is to tantalize, not to torment. Successful edging, which requires equal parts patience and self-control, serves a valuable purpose when it comes to harnessing sexual energy.


  • Deeper, more intuitive understanding of your and/or your lover’s body, knowing when that moment of ecstacy will happen, and how to control it
  • A great introduction to BDSM. Edging is a common form of power exchange, as an exhibition of power and control on behalf of the Dominant partner. Imposing restraint is a staple for maintaining control over your partner
  • Results in increased stamina for both men and women
  • Excellent natural option for male ejaculation control


  • Inadvertently going over the edge while skirting the line of sweet release during solo play
  • Learning to know your partner’s physical signs and cues, including breathing, body movements, and physical reactions
  • Throwing in the towel because orgasms are, um, awesome. Why wait?

Tips & techniques:

  • Master it by yourself first. Practice makes perfect! Work your way up to 20-25 minutes at a time
  • Alternate sex toys, finger fun, and sensory play. On a male partner, a masturbation sleeve is a great toy to bring into the mix
  • Press pause: Get your juices flowing and ramp up arousal with yourself how to climax together during intercourseor your partner.  Identify the moment that you are close to climax, and STOP for a few seconds. Go back to the beginning with less pinpointed pressure, targeting everything but the bullseye (Looking at you, clitoris!) Rinse and repeat at least one more time; enjoy!
  • Distraction: If you are experimenting solo, alternate your favorite toy with your fingers when you feel yourself about to burst
  • Get creative! You are not limited to just foreplay here. The fun part about edging is that it can be a grab bag of whatever stimulation you prefer—whether you incorporate penetration or not

If you are new to edging, don’t get discouraged! It may take a few weeks or a couple months until you’ve perfected your technique. Like anything worth waiting for, patience is a virtue, young grasshopper.

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Slow Burning Sensuality: The Art of Edging
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Casey Murphy

Casey Murphy is a sexual health educator, writer, and founder of The Pleasure Parlor. Bringing over a decade of experience in the pleasure products industry, she thrives on helping women embrace their sensuality and access more confidence in personal and professional relationships. Casey's time is spent writing, hosting educational workshops, public speaking events, and maintaining her website. Casey resides in Portland, Oregon.

One thought on “Slow Burning Sensuality: The Art of Edging

  • February 7, 2019 at 7:58 am

    My husband and I just started practicing “edging.” Well, to be honest, it’s mostly me that edges. We’ve now gotten to where he brings me to the edge multiple times — 6 or 7 or so — over the course of an evening. I’m so sensitive the whole time, it’s really unbelievable. When I’m begging him to take me over the top — we’ve even found that I need a safe word to let him know that I just can’t take it anymore — the orgasms are the strongest, most intense and even the longest I’ve ever experienced. My whole body just quivers and shakes with pleasure. Definitely an awesome practice when you have the time.


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