The trio of bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, and sadism & masochism may have a history of deviant depiction, but its rise to mainstream popularity in recent years has bred a lot of newfound curiosity. And though it stands on the basic pillars of communication and consent, BDSM can still seem pretty intimidating to anyone who’s new to the scene. However, it’s something many couples can benefit from.

Never fear, Tickle Kitty is here! Ready to help guide your grand entrance into the realm of kink and how to make it work wonders for you and your partner.

How To Bring It Up

It might seem fairly obvious, but ensuring you’re on the same page with your partner about what is and isn’t on the table is an important first step to approaching the kinky waters. Like many things in the world of sex, communication is everything—so of course the same goes for something as intimate as BDSM.

Commonly referred to as hard and soft limits, categorizing all the things you totally would try, might do, and definitely refuse is one of the first things you should do. You and your partner can make your own lists of each, then reconvene and see where mutual interest and compromise can be reached. Making a point to raise the subject outside of the bedroom and in a moment when you have ample time to talk about it are two other important factors to keep in mind when breaching sensitive subjects like these.

Beginner’s Tips & Tricks

First off, educate yourselves. One of the best parts about the Internet is the arsenal of knowledge available at your fingertips. When it comes to something as diverse and well-discussed as BDSM, the online insight is invaluable. Whether together or separately, you and your partner can easily listen to podcasts and read up on countless articles written by all sorts of extremely well-informed sex educators and practitioners. That way, you can also learn some proper techniques beforehand to help prevent accidental injury down the line.

Start out slow. Once you think it’s time to dive in, don’t feel the need to go zero to dungeon master on day one. For as personal as BDSM can (and should) be, establishing your system of communication is essential from the get-go. By this point you should have decided on a safe word and action, which tells your partner to stop what they’re doing immediately if things get too extreme; so prioritize getting comfortable with each other and your actions before ramping up the intensity.

Accessible tricks & toys. Instead of going straight for the electro rods and chastity cages, beginning with more “user friendly” toys is another great way to initially ease into things. Naturally it takes time to find your way, so first experimenting with items like a loosely tied scarf and incrementally sized toys can help avert you from feeling in over your head or intimated. And if sex toys are relatively new territory for you in the first place, even just restraining your lover’s hands while giving them oral, or receiving a sensual massage while blindfolded are great ways to begin your experimentation.

Value aftercare. Regardless of your experience level, aftercare is always a critical note on which to end, too. Dedicating the time to check in with each other after your hot and heavy sesh plays out helps ensure everyone feels good about what just happened and is tended to both physically and emotionally. BDSM can elicit some pretty intense responses, so “coming down” from the experience can be a serious bond strengthener itself.

And above all, never engage BDSM with anyone that you don’t fully trust. Period.

Tools Of The Trade

So once you’ve got your heads wrapped around the approach, a simple selection of toys can be a helpful stairstep into the world of kink.

Blindfolds. Sensation play is a mainstay itself, so a simple blindfold is a non-intimidating way to start getting your sexy sea legs. By covering up the sense of sight, all other senses will be heightened, so brushing a soft feather, silky scarf or plastic Wartenberg pinwheel across your partner’s anticipation-filled body is enough to shift their arousal into a whole new gear.

Impact Toys. Another stereotyped but true common facet of BDSM, spanking can help increase blood flow to certain parts of the body and enhance sensitivity as a result. Although the pros can make it look pretty intense, the fact you can control the level of impact makes it a great beginner technique. Start small with a paddle or crop to get a feel for how your partner likes it, and switch off between sultry spanks and gentle rubs of the same (now much more tender) erogenous zones.

Nipple Clamps. If you aren’t super used to masochism in the first place, a set of nipple clamps can help you learn how to find loads of pleasure in a touch of pain. Regardless of gender, they can also help stimulate multiple erogenous zones at a time with a unique, often adjustable amount of pressure. All while looking super sexy, too!

Restraints. Putting the “bond” in bondage, user-friendly handcuffs can add another level of sexiness when one person takes full control. But instead of the traditional metal lock and key, opting for velcro varieties that can be easily removed, or even bondage tape that only sticks to itself instead of the skin, can take a little pressure off of the first-time performance and allow you to explore with peace of mind.

If there’s one thing we know, it’s that Rihanna isn’t the only fan of chains and whips. As long you act upon them responsibly, kinks and fetishes are perfectly healthy and normal to have. They can expand our sexual horizons and help couples feel closer than ever before, so at the end of the day, never be too afraid of wading into the kinky waters.

Besides, you won’t know whether you like it until to try it.

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Enter the realm of kinky fun with toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post BDSM 101: Pro Tips for the Curious first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post BDSM 101: Pro Tips for the Curious appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Perfect for decking the halls and curling up on the couch with your boo, the holidays (despite the stress) should be one of the most joyous times of year. You’ve got hot cocoa, carols, and smitten kisses under the mistletoe, but best of all is a chance to surprise the ones you love; and what better way to spice up this sexy season than with the gift that keeps on giving—pleasure! À la toys, to be exact.

Save the back burner for your apple cider and move hot sex to the top of this year’s holiday to-do list. Because with just a few simple steps, you too can play sultry Santa and make all of your lover’s wildest winter dreams come true.

Where To Start

We can go on for days about the perks of couples using toys, so gifting occasions like the holidays are always a perfect time to bring something new into the bedroom that will benefit the both of you. When it comes to that special someone, of course we always want to go with a gift they’ll actually enjoy, so investing the time to pick out a fitting new toy can be a great way to show you care about their pleasure, as well as keeping the intimate sparks ablaze.

Like many things in the world of sex, the other good news is there’s never one “right” way to do it. A good starting place is to access their intimate experience to the best of your knowledge. Do they typically like to keep your sexcapades pretty tame and routine? Try a toy for beginners. Or, do they frequently bust out the chains, whips, and new sex toys? Surprise them with something a bit more exciting, like a multi-functional rabbit vibe, that twirls and vibrates simultaneously.

So whether you want a totally shared experience, or one with more sexy suspense, there are several ways to determine what tantalizing tool could be a good fit for your other half.

Babes In Toyland

Browsing sex shops online together can be a fantastic way to end up with something that’s bound to please. Sure, it may go against the traditional notion of surprise, but having the chance to discuss the world of options can ensure you’ll pick out something they’re genuinely interested in, as well as feel comfortable using.

Does your lover like their orgasms more low and slow, or more direct and straight to the punch? How does nipple stimulation make them feel? Have sex swings or machines ever caught their eye? All these things can be helpful to flesh out on the spot.

When browsing online it won’t take long to realize there might be way more choices than you ever previously imagined. So checking out the vast array firsthand can open the door for discovering new things you’re curious to try, along with ways of pleasing you didn’t know were possible. And besides, it makes for a super fun datenight activity as well!

Surprise!

But if you happen to be more of a tease, there’s always the option of taking your partner by surprise.

When this is more your style, candid discussions of what they’re into and interested to explore are critical to have beforehand. What kind of stimulation and positions they like the best, and what kind of devices can best enhance them; thinking back on any alluring on-screen scenes that particularly piqued their interest, or spilled beans about a recurring fantasy they’d like to explore IRL—these are all great places to start in the search for that special something that’ll be sure to please your partner. And probably you for that matter, too!

Even if you just want to give a small taste of steamy temptation, sensual accoutrements like mini vibes, lube and cock rings can be excellent stocking stuffers as well. In the end, the great thing about toys is there’s one (or more) out there for everyone, so ‘tis the season to relish in romance and play with new ways to turn up the heat.

So make your list and check it twice—this year we’re definitely opting for naughty ‘cause it feels so nice. And since everyone can get down with the gift of pleasure, we hope you find your own way of spreading red-hot holiday cheer to those you adore this sexy year.

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Find your lover the perfect erotic gift from TickleKitty.com:

The post How to Pick the Perfect Sex Toy for Your Lover first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post How to Pick the Perfect Sex Toy for Your Lover appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.