Or would it just delay the inevitable?
The meaning of sex can be much deeper than most people fully realize. I believe it’s the strongest transfer of human love and energy. You’re offering more than just your body when you partake in this act. In some cases, without even realizing it, we can give a lot more.
Not too long ago, I wrote an article describing how to set up a successful FWB relationship. The truth is, I don’t think I’d be able to pull something like this off for very long. And I know there are quite a few people who feel the same way. Allowing yourself to become so close to someone—so vulnerable and intimate—to co-create such a magical act on a regular basis and attempt to remain platonic is absurd to me.
I spoke to some female friends of mine while conducting my primary research for this article. One of them admitted that after just a single night of nooky she would catch feelings for guys she didn’t even particularly like beforehand.
Sound absurd? Studies show that when you share high adrenaline events with someone, like a roller coaster or bungee jumping, it can lead to sexual attraction. So just imagine what sex can do!
Maybe you don’t need to imagine because you’re like me and you’ve totally got it on before (I have; I swear). You know what sex is capable of doing. Perhaps it made you associate feeling amazing with your sexual partner. Or it could’ve even increased your feelings of love and attachment. All these weird and confusing feelings can be explained in another study.
What about people who have already been dating for a while? Can better sex actually save the relationship? Well, a lot of times, frequency of sex can be directly correlated with the quality of the partnership. Does this conversation between friends sound familiar?
“So how are you and Bob?”
“Things are okay. We stopped having sex.”
Do you think Bob and his lover would be better if they were still engaging in sexual intercourse? Maybe.
Now imagine if this hypothetical couple had eye-watering, body trembling, the mattress should just be burned afterward kind of sex. Bob and his partner would probably be in a lovely place. That’s the kind of coitus which could take all those petty disputes and annoyances, and chuck them in the bin next to the used condoms and empty lube bottles. This argument is especially valid if the two people love each other in the first place.
When the sex is good, that crazy little thing called love is more likely. This dangerous side effect is possible because when we orgasm, the part of our brain which makes decisions pretty much turns off. And while there’s nothing responsible in our brain to manage things, we’re flooded with all kinds of love hormones. So we’re confused, and we make really stupid decisions, like fall in love.
Furthermore, you can’t become addicted to fake orgasms, whereas real orgasms have similar addictive properties to drugs like heroin. And that’s pretty much what love is right? A tumultuous heroin addiction. Stronger and more frequent orgasms would undoubtedly make it more difficult to walk out that door.
Of course, better sex isn’t the cure-all solution to relationship problems. It’s entirely situational. Intercourse is just one important part of a healthy relationship spectrum. But it definitely could be the spark which reignites the dwindling ember. Sex provides another playing field to form a powerful bond with your partner, so it should never be overlooked.
Even if you disagree with everything I’ve blabbered on about, I do believe there’s one thing we can all agree on: better sex won’t hurt the relationship. Improving your sex life is always a great idea, especially if it’s done in addition to restorative practices and techniques on psychological and emotional levels.
The next question you might have is, “well, how can I get this better sex you keep talking about?”
You’re in the right place. I highly recommend checking out all of the free content available on The Tickle Kitty blog, followed by absorbing Dr. Sadie’s entire sex-how-to book catalog (including free online excerpts). The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris changed my life. All of her teachings are wonderfully informative. And once you’ve got the reading down, try incorporating some couple’s sex toys into the bedroom for realtime results.
Afterward, multiply the number of times you give oral sex per year by 100. That alone could probably save everything in the relationship. Heck, if everyone did that, we might even rescue the planet and bring about world peace.
Introducing sex toys to your bedroom routine has proven time and time again to have beneficial impacts on a dwindling relationship. Check ’em out at TickleKitty.com:
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