In today’s day and age, it’s easy for people to mistake fiction as fact. And for something as complicated as the world of sex, that tends to happen even more – with orgasms often getting the worst rap of all. So it’s time we set the record straight on some of the most misguided myths alive when it comes to reaching the pinnacle of pleasure:
Vibrator Addiction & Desensitization
There’s been a rumor for ages that using a vibrator “too much” can land you a desensitized clitoris and even addiction to the device itself. But please, let’s make it known that’s absolutely not the case.
Addiction boils down to a cocktail of chemicals within the brain and how it’s wired to receive reward – which is something your average vibrator is not typically going to impact. Sure, it feels good, and you might get used to that feeling. But repeated use of a sex toy isn’t going to make you incapable of reaching orgasm when stimulated in different ways.
The body is a miraculous thing that has a way of restoring itself back to normal. So just because a “manual” means of pleasing feels like a lot more work, it’s not because the super powers of a vibrator are magically changing our biology. Although if you start to worry you’re getting too much of a single thing, try busting out the vibe part-time, and spend the rest honing in on what unique sensations other methods can incite.
Easy O’s From Penetration Alone
From what you see in adult movies and TV shows, it seems like penetrative sex is the be-all end-all of pleasure. However, most gals out there need a lot more than just impromptu P-in-V stimulation.
Case in point: the orgasm gap. The awkward discrepancy between male bodies only needing about five minutes to climax, compared to female bodies needing about 17. Which speaks to how important foreplay is for warming up, as well as other types of touch to help reach the grand finale.
The clitoris alone has about 8,000 nerve endings, so it’s no surprise that it’s what most women need stimulated in order to achieve the big O. Although variety is the spice of life, so there’s also a lot to be said for the power of changing up the action. Often times a mix of oral, nipple, g-spot or anal stimulation can be the make-it not break-it difference in reaching a coveted climax.
Partners Being Responsible For Each Other’s Orgasms
It might be easy to blame absent orgasms on your partner’s skills, but the truth is we are responsible for our own pleasure in the end.
It’s always a two-way street when talking about anything sex and intimacy, so discovering what turns you on through masturbation and paying attention in the moment is the critical first step for any hope in a partner doing the same. Even though it intimidates some people, communicating during sex is not weird at all. In fact, it’s super essential! More than likely, your partner is not a mind reader. So if you don’t show and tell them your favorite techniques, toys and positions, how are they supposed to know what feels best to you?
“Good Sex” Equals an Orgasm
Even though we often think about great sex and orgasm synonymously, they don’t always guarantee one another.
You can have a bang-up bedroom session full of foreplay, oral and maybe even penetration too, but a lot factors into what causes (or prevents) a person from climaxing. From comfort and self-confidence, to chemistry, focus and knowing what turns you on in the first place, it’s way more dynamic than just doing going through the motions. But if you don’t end up even crossing the actual finish, that doesn’t mean it can’t still feel super satisfying just the same.
Multiple Orgasms For Women, Only
You usually hear about multiple O’s from the lens of women’s bodies, but men, in actuality, can join in the fun as well.
After ejaculation, a lot of male-bodied folks require a certain post-romp “refractory period” ahead of being able to get back in the saddle. But the thing is, there are some potential ways around it.
Contrary to what we’re led to believe, orgasm and ejaculation aren’t always one in the same. Exploring other techniques in terms of anal play, Kegels and edging can help refine this ability, and lead to being able to get the identical feeling of climax without the pesky turnaround.
And besides, not all women even have them, either – so practice makes perfect for either sex, after all.
Once you can separate what’s fact from fiction, it paves a pretty great path of how to enhance your sex life as well as your orgasms, too! Without knowing what’s misconceived, it’s hard to focus on the worthwhile advice. So with the power vested in these rumor mills finally being debunked, we can all make it a point to spend intimate time and effort where it actually matters most.
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