We all know it’s important to please our ladies in bed. But the enigmatic minds of women are quite unlike our own. In other words, they think about other things than just sex all the time. So, while it’s important to ensure she orgasms, it’s not the most essential thing in the world to her. Let’s face it, guys, they’re into the love thing. They want to feel like you’re actually paying attention.

To keep her from straying, let’s first take a look some of the main reasons why women may become disinterested. Inattention is probably the biggest one, and that can open the door for her to turn to someone else—usually that friend who’s waiting in the wings for you to screw up. If the only time you show a real interest in her is when you’re horny, you’re at risk of losing her. If you want to keep her, here’s a cheat sheet of things women find irresistible in men when it comes to being attentive.

1. Cooking

You must have developed one or two decent recipes during your tenure as a bachelor. Instead of taking her out to eat, or expecting her to cook for you, try showing her your mad skills in the kitchen. Even if it’s a disaster, she’ll appreciate that you cared enough to try.

2. Laughter

If you can make her laugh, you’re well on your way. And keeping a sense of humor can help get a couple through any rough patches that may arise. Most importantly, don’t take yourself too seriously.

3. Remembering key dates

If you’ve ever forgotten a birthday or anniversary, you know what I’m talking about. If you miss an important day, it’s going to hurt her—but you’re the one who’s really going to feel the pain as a result. Women can hold a grudge, so expect to be reminded of it with great regularity if you ever make this mistake. Set reminders, it’s simple.

4. Date nights

Once you’ve settled into a relationship, it can be easy to fall into a routine where your nights together are merely spent in front of the TV. And that can be fine on many nights, but don’t let it turn into a rut. Take her out every once in a while. Dinners, movies, or even just going for a walk—they love that shit.

5. Compliments

Don’t assume that she knows you think she’s beautiful, or that you appreciate everything she does. Be thoughtful enough to articulate it, and reassure her that she’s still the world to you.

6. Looking nice

I know they’re comfy as hell, but for God’s sake, reserve the sweatpants only for when you’re alone. Especially the old, stretchy ones, with all the holes in them. And maybe get a decent pair of shoes. Let her know you actually care about how you look when she’s around.

7. Trust

This is a huge one, guys, and it’s developed through a variety of deeds and behaviors. First, allow yourself to be vulnerable with her. Let down the guard you hold between you and the outside world. Let her in. You’re not perfect, and neither is she, so stop pretending. When this becomes a two-way street, honesty, respect, and loyalty will prevail without room for jealousy or suspicion.

8. Listening

Just as it’s important to be open with her, you need to be there for her—and actually pay attention—when she has something to say. When you do, you’ll be armed with those sweet little details that you can drop on her later when you want to melt her heart. Few things can make a woman lose her clothes better than proving that you were listening and that you remember.

9. Compromise

You don’t always have to win or be right, and that can be a tough one for guys to get over. You might not always see eye to eye. When that happens, it’s important not to judge. Even if you disagree, show empathy—that you understand why she feels the way she does. When she knows that you’ve at least heard her out, she’ll feel validated, respected and accepted.

10. Affection

This should be a no-brainer, but it can be a pitfall once you’ve settled into the relationship routine. Remember that she will always like to kiss, hold hands and cuddle. Unless you smell, which has inspired me to add a bonus thing she likes: good hygiene.

Do you want to know the ironic thing about all this stuff? If you give her everything from this list, she’ll actually become more likely to climax, anyway. That’s because she’ll feel more comfortable and loved with you, and that’s an excellent recipe for orgasms.

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Once you’ve shown her the attentive, kind gentleman you can be, go a step further and excite her with sex toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post 10 Things That’ll Make Her More Orgasmic first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 10 Things That’ll Make Her More Orgasmic appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Few things can ruin the moment during sex or foreplay like an immobilizing leg cramp. If you’ve ever experienced it, you know the feeling—and the series of events that immediately follow like clockwork almost every time. A cramp will come out of nowhere, shoot through your leg, cause the body to freeze in place, and leave no option but for you to declare a timeout.

If you experience a mild cramp attack, sometimes all it takes is a quick break to stretch your legs out, then get back to business. It’s OK to pause and handle cramps so you can relax the muscles and be comfortable to get  back into the groove. It’s best to walk around so blood can flow evenly again throughout your cramped muscles. A little hand massaging on the muscles will help, too.

To prevent leg cramps, staying hydrated and stretch regularly will keep your muscles primed. Then consider these few cowgirl adjustments to keep you feeling sexy and flexible, and without leg cramps:

• Pillows make great props. Place a pillow under each of your knees for some elevation while on top. This variation in comfort and height could be the perfect solution to avoid cramps.
• Like speed dating, give yourself 3 minutes in cowgirl, then switch it up. Move your body north so your pussy’s right above his face and let him go to town with oral loving for the next 3 minutes. Then, then switch back! You can enjoy cowgirl again, or even spin around for some sexy 69. Choose your pleasures and enjoy the variety too.
• Take cowgirl to a chair. Give your lover a kiss then turn around for standing reverse cowgirl. This position allows you to be on your feet with legs only partially bent. There will be less of a chance of pesky leg cramps from folded-at-the-knee legs.
• Adjust to reverse cowgirl with your feet on the bed beside his legs, and lean back onto his chest. Arch your back and have him hold your hips to guide and help as well. This way, you’re not sitting on your bent, crunched legs, which can cause cramping from lack of blood flow.

If you do find yourself in the leg cramp situation, it doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. In fact, embracing the opportunity to stop, slow down and take a break will likely lead to a more intense orgasm when you get back up and continue the fun.

For more information on pleasure and positions, get a free excerpt of my bestseller, “Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! Sex Positions for Better Bucking”—an extensive, illustrated anthology of 100 positions that will keep you moving all night.

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Sex should be all about comfort and pleasure. Orgasm is just a buzz away with sex toys from  TickleKitty.com:

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Or would it just delay the inevitable?

The meaning of sex can be much deeper than most people fully realize. I believe it’s the strongest transfer of human love and energy. You’re offering more than just your body when you partake in this act. In some cases, without even realizing it, we can give a lot more.

Not too long ago, I wrote an article describing how to set up a successful FWB relationship. The truth is, I don’t think I’d be able to pull something like this off for very long. And I know there are quite a few people who feel the same way. Allowing yourself to become so close to someone—so vulnerable and intimate—to co-create such a magical act on a regular basis and attempt to remain platonic is absurd to me.

I spoke to some female friends of mine while conducting my primary research for this article. One of them admitted that after just a single night of nooky she would catch feelings for guys she didn’t even particularly like beforehand.

Sound absurd? Studies show that when you share high adrenaline events with someone, like a roller coaster or bungee jumping, it can lead to sexual attraction. So just imagine what sex can do!

Maybe you don’t need to imagine because you’re like me and you’ve totally got it on before (I have; I swear). You know what sex is capable of doing. Perhaps it made you associate feeling amazing with your sexual partner. Or it could’ve even increased your feelings of love and attachment. All these weird and confusing feelings can be explained in another study.

What about people who have already been dating for a while? Can better sex actually save the relationship? Well, a lot of times, frequency of sex can be directly correlated with the quality of the partnership. Does this conversation between friends sound familiar?

“So how are you and Bob?”

“Things are okay. We stopped having sex.”

Do you think Bob and his lover would be better if they were still engaging in sexual intercourse? Maybe.

Now imagine if this hypothetical couple had eye-watering, body trembling, the mattress should just be burned afterward kind of sex. Bob and his partner would probably be in a lovely place. That’s the kind of coitus which could take all those petty disputes and annoyances, and chuck them in the bin next to the used condoms and empty lube bottles. This argument is especially valid if the two people love each other in the first place.

When the sex is good, that crazy little thing called love is more likely. This dangerous side effect is possible because when we orgasm, the part of our brain which makes decisions pretty much turns off. And while there’s nothing responsible in our brain to manage things, we’re flooded with all kinds of love hormones. So we’re confused, and we make really stupid decisions, like fall in love.

Furthermore, you can’t become addicted to fake orgasms, whereas real orgasms have similar addictive properties to drugs like heroin. And that’s pretty much what love is right? A tumultuous heroin addiction. Stronger and more frequent orgasms would undoubtedly make it more difficult to walk out that door.

Of course, better sex isn’t the cure-all solution to relationship problems. It’s entirely situational. Intercourse is just one important part of a healthy relationship spectrum. But it definitely could be the spark which reignites the dwindling ember. Sex provides another playing field to form a powerful bond with your partner, so it should never be overlooked.

Even if you disagree with everything I’ve blabbered on about, I do believe there’s one thing we can all agree on: better sex won’t hurt the relationship. Improving your sex life is always a great idea, especially if it’s done in addition to restorative practices and techniques on psychological and emotional levels.

The next question you might have is, “well, how can I get this better sex you keep talking about?”

You’re in the right place. I highly recommend checking out all of the free content available on The Tickle Kitty blog, followed by absorbing Dr. Sadie’s entire sex-how-to book catalog (including free online excerpts). The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris changed my life. All of her teachings are wonderfully informative. And once you’ve got the reading down, try incorporating some couple’s sex toys into the bedroom for realtime results.

Afterward, multiply the number of times you give oral sex per year by 100. That alone could probably save everything in the relationship. Heck, if everyone did that, we might even rescue the planet and bring about world peace.

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Introducing sex toys to your bedroom routine has proven time and time again to have beneficial impacts on a dwindling relationship. Check ’em out at TickleKitty.com:

The post Can Better Sex Save the Relationship? first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Can Better Sex Save the Relationship? appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

As I sit down to write this, I can’t help but reminisce about my extensive history of first dates. The tragedies, the successes, the embarrassments—I’ve had a prolific dating career. Picture Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother, but the kids have stopped listening, moved out of the house, and put dad in a home because he’s still rambling on about his dating adventures.

In all of these encounters, here are some things my dates did to me which weren’t okay:

• Went on a maudlin tirade about their ex-boyfriends.
• Catfished me (not once, not twice, but thrice).
• Left with a member of the band we were watching.

Here are some things I did which weren’t okay:

• Passed out on the dinner table.
• Gifted fake flowers.
• Spent the night on my date’s bathroom floor.

The above misadventures weren’t so great. In fact, they were awful. But
these instances take us to our big question: Should we consider copulation on the first date to be socially acceptable? Well, if you were to ask me if sex, which is oneof the most powerful transfers of love and positive energy, is okay on the first date, I will always answer YES.

But it doesn’t matter what I say. And don’t worry about what your parents may have drilled into your head. Forget what society has told you, what your friends think, or what your sex ed teacher taught you. Most importantly, don’t allow your date to convince you.

It’s only okay to make whoopie on the first date if you feel whoopie is okay on the first date. You and only you can make that decision. This is your marvelous experience as a human being. That towering thing of flesh, and bone, and swaying extremities is yours, and how you want to use it is entirely up to you.

I will share this, though: if what’s holding you back is a fear that maybe it’s taboo or even trashy, and you’re worried you’ll be led down a dark path, then always remember…

Sex is an act of love. If you’re using it with good intentions—not to make someone jealous, or to cause pain—but to share the magic, bliss, energy, and the synchronization of two spiritual beings at a vibrational level,
all of which this act creates, then it cannot be considered anything but good. There’s a reason it’s referred to as “making love.” So when you feel safe and comfortable with your date, and the chemistry was reactive, then feel free to express your feelings with your hips.

But please, please, PLEASE… As always, use your best judgment. If you’re looking for a serious relationship to commence with this act, then it might be a good idea to express these intentions beforehand. Some people are of the opinion that when you have sex on the first date, it is implied to remain a one night stand. It’s also important to be wary of players, fuckboys, and heartbreakers, who may lead you to believe they have the same long-term interests as you, but in reality, seek to deceive you.

All that said, sex on the first date is not something which should be frowned upon. In fact, I believe first dates need to include more coitus. Lots more coitus. Maybe even more anal, but I’m not going to get into that right now. The things that first dates need less of are catfishing, stand-ups, and fools who thought they could handle several jagerbombs at dinner.

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Whether it’s your first date or not, experience a thrill with our top picks from TickleKitty.com:

The post Is it Okay to Have Sex on the First Date? first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Is it Okay to Have Sex on the First Date? appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Female MMA champion Ronda Rousey couldn’t be more wrong – using lube doesn’t make you or your partner lazy, and there’s never a bad time to reach for a bottle of extra topping to add to your sex sundae.

There are loads of reasons a woman might want or even need lube, and every single one of them leads to a conclusion we can always get behind: more comfortable, healthy, and orgasmic sex. Sensual lubricants are as varied as sex toys these days, and it’s easy to find the perfect combination of ingredients to fit your desires and unique body chemistry. Whether you’re looking for strawberry flavor, added moisture, or dual massage benefits, lubes keep your sexy parts oiled and primed for pleasure.

If you’re not convinced yet, our list of amazing reasons to make lube your new bestie will have you grabbing your trusty bottle every time you get down!

Soak Your Powered Play

With all the mild to wild options in modern lubricants, testing out a new slippery substance is like buying a new sex toy (and usually at half the price). It brings new sensations to your partnered or solo sessions, and can even turn your toy time into a novel play experience. Drizzling lube on an old favorite vibrator gives new life to your usual masturbation routine. Experiment with a heating or cooling lube and watch those multiple vibration options become electrified with pleasure-giving power! Just make sure to remember the golden rule of mixing lubes and toys: never use lubes containing silicone on silicone-made toys, as the chemical reaction will cause the sex toy’s exterior to disintegrate.

Skin Saver

Lubes can save you from chafing and other sorts of topical post-sex pain, especially if you’ve got sensitive skin or are naturally more on the dry side. Even if your body produces plenty of moisture during coitus, sometimes nature can’t keep up with your bumpin’ and grindin’. This goes double for babes that get that internal “raw” feeling after a lot of thrusting, or get chafed from grinding their clitoris against a partner’s pubic bone. Look for a water-based lube without paraben or glycerin, as these ingredients can sometimes irritate sensitive skin. A silicone lube also works wonders for keeping rawness or chafing at bay. Silicone is non-irritating and hypo-allergenic for all skin types, and it doesn’t dry out like most water-based lubricants. (Pssst….just remember not to use it with your silicone sex toys!)

Slather On the Foreplay Action

While your body and mind are working to prepare your sexy parts for action, a usually pleasurable touch can feel downright irritating without proper lubrication. Before your partner starts their downstairs stroking, add a few drops of lube to your vulva and clitoris, and invite them to slowly explore every inch of your slippery outsides. For oral delights, there are a plethora of tasty flavored lubes that mimic everything from fresh fruit to dessert delicacies. If couples’ massage is what pushes your buttons, dual-use lubes can be used as body glides over all of your curves and inside your pleasure zones. Incorporating lube into your foreplay gets both of you heated up for the main event while giving your vagina a helping (ahem!) hand in prepping for that explosive, lip-biting sensation as your partner slides into your body.

You never need an excuse to use lube. Craving a killer orgasm is reason enough! Figuring out the best lube for your solo or partner sex is just like seeking your next sex toy. Do a little browsing of Dr. Sadie’s very own formula, Slippery Kitty Lube on TickleKitty.com and give the product description a good read. She’ll always steer you in the right direction for slippery fun!

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Pair your new favorite lube with any of these top pleasure products for an ultimate sexual experience:

The post Why Lube is Your Best Friend first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Why Lube is Your Best Friend appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.