So you really like this girl, huh? Then this is no time to be lazy when planning a date that will not only impress her, but increase the likelihood of things really going your way. Whether this a first date, you’re still in the getting-to-know-you stage, or you just want to take your game up a notch, here are seven date ideas so hot they’re almost like foreplay.

1. Drive-In Movies

There are fewer drive-ins around than, say, when your parents or grandparents were young, but they’re still out there—and for good reason; there’s not much movie-watching going on. It’s way more fun than your typical megaplex. I mean, what could be better than a movie in the privacy of your car? The movie might not be all that good, but at least you’re free to talk without disturbing anyone around you. And there’s just something about that intimate setting that always leads to making out, or perhaps even more? ? But before you get to that, it’s not a bad idea to flex your creative prowess by hiding snacks in the various nooks and crannies of your car. Just don’t hide anything perishable in case you get squirrel-like amnesia.

2. Where Everybody Knows Your Name

I hesitate to put bar hopping on this list, as it’s not the most creative date idea. But there’s an opportunity for both of you to put a little twist on it: Take one another to your favorite watering holes. Even if we’re talking about a neighborhood dive bar, it’s always a good move to take her to a place where people know you (which, of course, doesn’t have to be a bar). It’ll put her at ease, and the atmosphere will tell her a little something about you, hopefully making her even more curious. Then, let her take you to her favorite spot. By now, you may have a little social lubricant in you, and have plenty to talk about.

3. Anything With Animals

I hope this isn’t news to you, but chicks dig animals. Don’t act like you’ve never noticed dog-walking is a great way to meet girls. Furthermore, don’t act like you’ve never considered adopting a dog to meet girls. Now that you’ve already met her, melt her heart by taking her somewhere she’ll be up to her ears with those adorable little panty droppers. A zoo is OK, but make sure there are hands-on experiences available. Otherwise, a shelter could be a fun little date that’ll show her your sensitive side, especially if you’re good with animals.

Protip: If you’re an experienced rider, she would love to go horseback riding. If there’s anything girls have adored their entire lives besides mermaids and unicorns, it’s horses.

4. In-Town Tourism

Every city has at least one place it’s known for—a place tourists visit while locals roll their eyes. But maybe there’s one in town that neither of you has ever been to in all your years there. While it may not sound all that exciting, this works on many levels. First, it puts you on even ground, in that it’s new to both of you. Second, it’ll actually be fun. Whether it’s a cultural institution, a sporting event, or whatever, there’s always something there to fill any lapses in conversation, and may even share some laughs at the expense of other tourists.

5. Brunch

This is an amazing outside-the-box date that’ll let her know you’re not stuck in the Netflix-and chill rut, and that you’re more imaginative than resorting to the typical dinner-and-a-movie fare. It also sends a signal that, being morning and all, you’re not expecting to bring her home with you, even if that’s secretly your intent. Some great food and late-morning drinks can be a perfect start to a date she’ll want to continue into the afternoon and beyond, so keep it going by following up brunch with another tip from our list.

6. Dancing

I’m certainly aware it’s not for all of us, but most ladies love to dance. If you can get by without making a fool of yourself (you actually know how to dance, for instance), this is a really great, even sensual, activity that will get the blood pumping and your bodies touching. And a couple drinks aren’t going to hurt in terms of lowering inhibitions for you both. Because clubs tend to be loud, make sure your time together also includes a quieter place to talk. Going for a walk is always a good addition to any date.

7. Wine Tasting

Independent wineries seem to have sprung up everywhere, so there’s probably one near you. If not, there are plenty of bars and restaurants that host tastings. This is a great afternoon start to a date that could last long into the night. Be sure to start with a tasting where you can sample the winery’s wares. It’s an opportunity to try one another’s selections and find out which ones you like. Then you should each get a full glass of your favorite and venture outside, where you’re bound to find some live music, food, and an opportunity to walk the vineyard and talk.

This type of date shows her you’re at least slightly cultured, while providing plenty to occupy you both in the event awkward silences sneak up between good conversation. And, typically being an afternoon activity, it naturally leads to, “What should we do next?” Plus, just saying, but a 2009 study in Italy suggested that moderate imbibing of red wine resulted in higher scores related to “sexual desire, lubrication, and overall sexual function” in women. So, there’s that.

In conclusion, you might want to consider bringing along a condom or two because these dates are pretty much foreplay. I mean, playing with puppies? A drive-in movie? Fella, you’re going to want to prepare yourself. While you’re at it, order some lubricant as well to make sure it all goes smoothly when things (inevitably) escalate. Hope you two have a magical time!

Enjoy some new pleasure from Ticklekitty.com:

The post 7 Date Ideas So Hot They’re Almost Like Foreplay first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 7 Date Ideas So Hot They’re Almost Like Foreplay appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

“Fake it ‘til you make it” may work for climbing career ladders, but when it comes to the world of sex, it couldn’t be a bigger faux pas. And even though women are often the ones who get credit for honing the art of faking orgasms, rumor has it they’re apparently not alone.

Each year SKYN Condoms conducts their annual Millennial Sex Survey, which this time around revealed about 63% of females admit to having faked an orgasm at one point or another. So while that may not necessarily come as the biggest surprise—a whopping 43% of males confessed the same.

Luckily most of the responders said they’ve only done so on a “rarely to never” basis, but it still begs the only real question in need of asking…

Why?

While most probably agree there’s never a good reason to fake an orgasm, there are plenty of reasons why some (especially women) may feel the need.

Many females need on average almost four times longer than males to reach their climactic potential—this is known as the infamous orgasm gap. So depending on how long your sexy festivities tend to last, some may find it awkward that some aren’t wired to finish as quickly as others…and therefore might resort to wrapping things up in whatever way they can.

Plus, if it’s just vaginal penetration we’re talking, as many as 70-80% of gals have trouble reaching climax from that kind of sex alone in the first place. With so many different types of orgasms, it’s no wonder we can’t be masters of them all. So if the amount of foreplay and other pre-game action isn’t sufficient, it should be pretty obvious why actually crossing the finish may not be so attainable.

So what about men?

Now, even though plenty of people wouldn’t think the embellishment ball would ever fall into the court of guys as well, a lot of their potential reasons aren’t actually all that different.

Regardless of gender, everyone has a unique sexual drive. And just like with any other sexual beings in this world, anxiety always has the potential to interfere with our performance abilities. So whether it’s being nervous about what the other person is thinking, or any other stress tied into the circumstances, men are just as apt to get tense about reaching orgasm, which only makes the process harder.

But what else that can play a part in the male façade specifically, is the stereotype of guys being ready for all the sex, all the time—which simply isn’t true.

We previously covered that no two libidos are exactly alike, which definitely applies to men. Unfortunately, some guys still feel the need to live up to ever-present notions of “masculinity,” and that (somehow) translates to the ability to orgasm within a handful of minutes. So regardless if they’re actually able to, the need to act like climax has been reached can become more important than the act itself.

Leave The Acting Behind

So even though several cases can be made for a need to feign the big “O”, the fact of the matter is an orgasm doesn’t define the quality or degree of pleasure felt in an experience to begin with.

Sex, as always, is about the satisfaction and pleasure shared in and of itself—not the single notion of whether or not one (or both) ends up climaxing. And by falling into a trap of consistently faking the finale, you’re all the more likely to just wind up in an intricate web of underwhelming sexual lies.

And seriously, who wants that?

Orgasm Aides To The Rescue!

But when all is said and done, the good news is there are several tips and tricks that can help everyone orgasm more on their own accord! Including…

Masturbation: Simply talking to your partner about what feels good for both of you is always the first and foremost step to heightened pleasure. So more frequently masturbating can be the perfect key to discovering what those suggestions are in the first place.

Toys: Whether it’s just you or a partner too, there’s a perfect toy for every occasion. Once again, it’s typically women that get associated with using toys. But our dirty little not so secret is they’re just as effective, plentiful and pleasure-inducing for guys as well.

Lube: And what could make things more comfortable, enjoyable and orgasmic above all than our nightstand’s main squeeze—lube! Regardless if playing around with a partner or just a toy alone, lube has a unique way of boosting sensations. And with so many different kinds on the market nowadays, you never know what kind of intimate thrills you may uncover.

So before you find yourself saying SOS from being SOL in the epic games of faking an orgasm, just remember sex isn’t defined by if and when you climax, but the pleasure felt overall. Orgasming isn’t the only way to feel “satisfied”, nor an indication of how enjoyable a session between the sheets happened to be. So instead of feeling overwhelmed with insecurity or paranoia about whether or not you’re acting enough like a porn star, be a pal to you and your partner both and spare the theatrics for another time.

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You and your partner won’t feel the need to fake orgasms when you use toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post Men Fake Orgasms Too, and Here’s Why first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Men Fake Orgasms Too, and Here’s Why appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

If you’re reading this, bless you for giving oral sex the respect it deserves. Sadly, some people are unwilling to take the time and effort to properly to reciprocate oral sex with their partners, though they are enthusiastic to be on the receiving end. Enter the orgasm gap: the statistical fact that in heterosexual encounters, men orgasm more than women. Statistics show over 80% of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, which is why oral sex can be critical. Aside from your cunnilingus capabilities, developing a compassionate mentality is a way to tip the orgasm equality scales. Here is a breakdown on becoming the best (oral sex) partner you can be.

Act (and ask) selflessly.

It’s no secret that communication is a challenge for lovers during intimacy, whether we are worried about hurting someone’s feelings, sounding pushy, or killing the mood. Cultural conditioning leads us to believe that staying quiet is easier than speaking up, or learning each other’s love languages. However, there’s a simple solution to remove the guesswork while taking pressure off your partner. Just ask! Let her know how much you love making her feel good, and you want to know what she loves best. Instead of asking “How does this feel?”, be more specific. Tell her you will perform a series of techniques that she will assign with a number. Example: 1 for “Meh” and 5 for “Eff yes!”. This game is an opportunity to demonstrate that you’re not just going through the motions, rushing to get your piece of the action. It will equip you with the knowledge of what works, while empowering her to communicate what she wants. (Why this concept isn’t the Golden Rule of Pleasure, I’ll never know!)

About those tips and techniques…

To start, never overlook the importance of a comfortable environment. Believe it or not, the lights off can make or break our ability to orgasm. Ask if she prefers the lights on or off before getting down to business. Next, grab a pillow or two and slide it underneath her pelvis, to give you a better angle while easing pressure on her back.

As far as oral sex techniques, slow, repeated ice cream licks on the vulva and the U-spot (the opening to the urethra, just above the vaginal opening, above the lips) are a crowd pleaser. Once you get into a rhythm, practice writing the letters of the alphabet with your tongue…in cursive if you’re fancy! Don’t be afraid to get up close and personal, either. By that I mean—use your face. All of it. Big noses are a plus. If you’re nimble, ask if she’d like internal or external finger or sex toy stimulation. For women who like simultaneous stimulation, there is nothing like the gift of a blended orgasm (G-spot and clitoris at the same time). Truth be told, what it really comes down to is dedication, and attention to detail. If all else fails, stop and ask for directions!

Don’t stop, get it, get it!

If your partner is expressing verbal or physical signs of sexual bliss, keep the same motion flowing. It may be an innocent knee-jerk reaction to abruptly switch up the tongue techniques when your partner approaches the edge. Their pleasure is peaking, and one might interpret that as needing to up the level of intensity all around. I have been guilty of this in the past. When their orgasm approached, a voice in my head would whisper, “Lights! Camera! Jazz Hands!”, at which time my hands and mouth would operate frantically with no rhyme or reason. (Just…why?) I ended up learning this later, unfortunately, as each partner was too coy to tell me otherwise. Repeat strokes aren’t boring; they are the stairway to orgasm heaven. If you are experiencing symptoms of lockjaw or carpal tunnel and your partner is enjoying that technique, just stay…right…there.

The female orgasm is a bi-product of something bigger than fancy techniques and vibrators combined. It is the result of mental clarity; thoughts free of sexual expectations and daily stress. There is a ways to go before equal pay in the workforce, but in the meantime, orgasm equality is attainable. One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. One blog at a time.

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Give her the gift of pleasure with sex toys from  TickleKitty.com:

The post 3 Rules for Going Down On Her first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 3 Rules for Going Down On Her appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

While you’re reading this, teams of designers, engineers and sexperts around the globe are dreaming up new devices for the betterment of humankind: pleasuring the prostate (Also known as the “P-spot” or “He-spot). You could spend a lifetime trying their many orgasmic creations. But then you’d have a funny walk.

Instead, why not narrow your choices to a handful of exciting prostate toys that’ll thrill you or your lover the most? And with this personal guide to P-spot play, you can get right to the bottom line.

First Things First: Finding the He-spot.

Look familiar? The prostate is identical to a woman’s G-spot. It’s located in approximately the same area as the G-spot, though it’s accessed through the anus, or “A-spot.” So, if you can easily find the G-spot, locating the He-spot will be a piece of cake.

If not, we’ve shared some pointers to guide your He-spot discovery. Slide your finger(s) about 2-3 inches inside the A-spot. With your fingers shaped in the classic “come-hither” motion, press upward against the anal wall, toward the belly button. The prostate is walnut-sized, with a squishy “palm-of-the-hand” texture.

Bingo! You’ve found the prostate. Now it’s time to play.

He-Spot Massagers: Precision on a mission.

By seeking out direct contact with the prostate, a He-spot massager can stimulate you or your partner to unexplored heights of pleasure. Your mileage may vary, yet it’s almost always worth the ride.

A He-spot massager is cleverly designed with a gentle upturn at the tip for precision aim at the He-spot, as well as easy insertion. The toy’s bulbous chassis is designed to feel good as it curves inside the Pleasure Tunnel. And its flared safety-base serves as a convenient joystick while it prevents the toy from slipping completely inside.

Start your adventure with plenty of preheating—never begin from a cold start. Lube up the toy, then insert it slowly into the A-spot, with the curved tip arching toward the belly button. If you’ve already found the He-spot with your finger, you’ll find it a lot easier with the toy. Be sure to talk it through, so you’ll know when there’s direct contact. Then gently rub and massage directly on the delicate P-spot—never poke or prod. Or you can simply maintain a steady light pressure while turning your full attention to the art of penis pleasing.

Once you’re comfortable with a basic He-spot massager, you can try hands-free models, which use natural muscle movements to excite the He-spot during lovemaking. And some designs even offer simultaneous taint stimulation for extra pleasure.

Once you or your partner gets comfortable with A-spot play, you’ll discover a new world of pleasure—along with better control over pelvic muscles and orgasms. This can lead to a highly coveted new-and-improved prowess in bed.

Do It the Right Way: Your Guide to Toy Safety

Toys are meant to be all fun and games—and they are—when you follow a few safety guidelines:

Smooth it. Feel around on new toys for any sharp edges or rough seams. Make sure the toy is perfectly smooth. For ultimate smoothness, roll a condom over it.

Clean it. Wash toys thoroughly before and after each use with an adult toy cleaner or antibacterial soap—then rinse thoroughly and air dry. If there are batteries, be sure to remove them first.

Stow it. After cleaning and air drying, wrap each toy in its own clean cloth or fresh plastic storage bag, then store it in a cool place that’s out of direct sunlight—and away from prying eyes.

Cover it. Certain toys have microscopic nooks and crannies that can harbor germs even if you clean those toys thoroughly. For the best protection, roll a condom over every toy—every time.

Lube it. Always lube-up your toys—but do not use silicone lube with a silicone toy. It seems like the opposite of what you’d expect, but silicone-on-silicone will actually melt the toy. Instead, use a water-based lube with your silicone toy, or wrap it in a condom.

Never do it. Do not insert bullet vibrators into the A-spot—unless you want to explain to the ER doc why it’s lost inside your anus. Always use toys designed specifically for buttplay: models that are made with flared safety-bases to prevent them from disappearing inside.

Now that you know the ins-and-outs of P-spot play, you’re ready to begin your backdoor exploration mission. Enjoy the ride.

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Do some backdoor exploring with these top-rated prostate toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post Prostate Orgasms Are Real and Here’s Where to Start first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Prostate Orgasms Are Real and Here’s Where to Start appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Did you know that some men and women have the ability to orgasm from nipple play alone? It’s science. Nipple play releases a chemical in the brain called oxytocin (the same chemical released during orgasms), which activates the good feeling of pleasure. We all have the same sensitive nerve endings in the nipples and areolas, meaning we all have access to this pleasure hub. The next time you hit the sheets, give it a go, either solo, or with your partner. Pay attention to your clitoris—does a nipple kiss make you tingle? If so, you’re on your way to a nipple-gasm! Here are three secret tips to climax through nipple stimulation:

Secret 1: Communication is king.

Some men don’t realize nipples are an entire other erogenous zone that can be extremely arousing for them as well. So it’s worth an introduction!  Two-way communication is key to fine-tuning sexual pleasure with your lover. Ask if they’d like to gently experiment. Or, approach the nipples slowly and very gently when you’re in bed. Observe their reaction and you’ll know for sure. Ask how she/he wants it. Urge them to deeply focus on the nipple sensations. As you experiment, continue to check in, gauging vocal reactions and body language. Then ask again if they like what you did and how you can adjust it. Start slow and work your way up as you learn your lover’s unique preferences.

Secret 2: Relaxation rules.

Just like a vaginal or clitoral orgasm, our bodies respond best when we are relaxed. It may be worthwhile to devote an entire foreplay or lovemaking session just to the nipples! When the focus is solely on nipple arousal, the more likely an orgasm from nipple stimulation will be reached . Start slow and let your instincts navigate your fingers or mouth. Try massaging a breast with the full hand and work your way into nipple play after your lover is well massaged. Then, tease with kisses, moving down the neck, chest, and eventually to the nipples. Use a lot of tongue and slow, juicy kisses. (This can be a fun way to lead to oral sex, too.) The Tickle-Time Feather is a great beginner’s tool for light breast brushes (or anywhere). At this point, your lover will be eager for your mouth to be all over their man-or-womanhood. If you do migrate south, try edging your partner and make a pact to return to the nipples frequently. For romantic beginners, this luxury Afterglow Massage Oil Candle liquefies at body temperature so it’s never too hot when applying to skin. Full-body arousal means you’re more likely to orgasm from one final lick of the nipple.

Secret 3: Perfect your technique.

Between your hands, mouth, and nipple toys, there are limitless techniques at your fingertips. Focus on one nipple at a time, and alternate to avoid overstimulation. If you are using your mouth, blow and breathe across the nipples. Add a lick of saliva for wetness first, then blow, which will offer a cool, titillating breezy feeling. Nipple stimulating creams like the Nip Zip Ice Balm cause the same pleasurable cooling effect. Don’t be afraid to get sloppy! French kiss, lick, and suck with your mouth. Slither your tongue quickly back and forth. Wiggle your tongue quickly like a snake. Give ‘em sloppy puppy kisses! Or faintly glide over the nipples using saliva or a dab of lube. With your fingers, start with a light, gentle touch. Run the palms of your hands up and down the nipple, and circle around on the areola. The simple Nöje Wand vibrator is a must-have for buzzing stimulation on nipples—or all over the body. You can pinpoint stimulation by squeezing in mini pulses, rolling the nipple back and forth gently between the fingers, tugging, or tapping. If you like it rough, try spanking or flogging nipples. The Heart Beat Crop is great for precise tapping and slapping, and can be used for gentle or rough nipple play.

It may be tempting to jump to penetration, but be patient and communicate! This is the key to achieving an orgasm through nipple arousal. Once you determine the techniques that turn you on the most, stick with them, and let the nipple orgasms roll on in.

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Now that you have the nipple play techniques down, dip your toe into the world of nipple toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post 3 Secrets to Having Nipple Orgasms first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 3 Secrets to Having Nipple Orgasms appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Once you break out of the bedroom and away from missionary, the world (well, living room) is your oyster. When you’re good and comfy with Easy Sofa Sex positions, these advanced couch sex techniques will take you from spontaneous to strategic.

Ball Player

With your lover sitting with his back against the couch, climb on top of his mound, facing away from him. Both partners can control the speed and frequency of thrusts…and he gets a great view of your ass. With both of your legs spread apart, you’ve got a ticket to pleasure his balls the entire ride.

Orgasm’s Edge

The back of the couch is your trusty support system for this hot position. Splay your arms on the top of the couch for support as your partner walks towards you. Wrap your legs sturdily around his waist until his pelvis is aligned with yours. With your legs open, he can bump, grind and gyrate your clitoris into sweet, sweet ecstasy. Lay back, relax and enjoy the ride.

View Master

The View Master is a voyeur’s paradise! Straddle your partner while he is sitting on the couch. Lift your legs up on either side of him in ‘V’ formation, and prop your feet on the back of the couch (or an armrest). Then, place your hands on his legs to hold yourself up. He gets an incredible view of his penis penetrating you, and a delicious angle for deep diving. Bonus points if he uses a free hand or clit vibe to stimulate your clitoris during the action.

Deep Dangle

The options to tease and please each other in this position are endless!  Lay down on your back and let your head dangle on the edge of the armrest. While standing, let your lover enter your mouth for out-of-this-world oral. If you’re a multitasking master, you can pleasure yourself simultaneously as you deepthroat. Prop one leg up on the side of the sofa, and use your favorite vibrator on yourself. He can use his free hands to caress your breasts or stimulate your nipples for an extra titillating time.

Cushion Pushin’

Tired but not completely tapped out? This classic position is perfect for a lazy encore (or two, or three). Your lover can sit back and relax as you straddle his lap. If you choose to hold the back of his neck, use the opportunity to engage in a hot make-out sesh. Alternatively, you can place your hands on the back of the couch for leverage. Place cushions or pillows underneath his back to prop him up closer for deeper penetration.

You’re now equipped to enjoy a world of new positions from the comfort of your own home. The best part about these positions? They require no frills, fancy toys, or frequent flyer miles. Want to learn more about mild to wild sex positions for all locations and occasions?  Pick up a copy of my bestselling, illustrated, how-to sex guide, Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking. Your lover will be thrilled with all your new found knowledge!

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Make wild sofa sex even sexier with sex toys from at TickleKitty.com:

The post 5 Creative Positions for Wild Sofa Sex first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 5 Creative Positions for Wild Sofa Sex appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

If your love life consists of lying awake after a quick, underwhelming sex romp, listening to the room next door which has the walls shaking, things falling from the ceiling, and animal noises being screamed out, then don’t fret…

There’s no denying that an unsatisfying sex life is precisely that: unsatisfying and often frustrating. But there are ways you can improve your sexy times. I’ve put together a list of 7 non-sexual things you can try to be more like the room which gets all the noise complaints.

Mark the full moon in your calendar.

The moon isn’t just some mysterious and glowing orb which we sometimes sing songs about and claim that we’ve totally visited before. It can also get you in the mood.

It’s scientifically proven that most women ovulate during the full moon. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but when women are fertile, and their estrogen is high, they reach peak sex goddess levels. Their skin glows, their voices are more pleasing, and they have more confidence. They are also hornier because their testosterone is peaking too.

So basically those stories of werewolves pouncing on people in the night during full moons might have actually been about women pouncing on their mates. Be safe out there, fellas.

Open your mouth.

Maybe your man is obsessed with rubbing his own nipples (who isn’t?) every time you get it on, and it rubs you the wrong way. Or perhaps he thinks you might, just maybe, for whatever reason, think that maybe you could do something a little differently (I’m sure you’re great!).

It’s important to communicate with each other if you’re feeling like the sex is struggling. Often, it’s discovered that both parties are unhappy but are unwilling to discuss it because they were worried about disappointing or upsetting their partner. Remember: talking things out is key to a healthy and happy relationship in all aspects; sex included.

Connect with the earth.

Are you familiar with the 90s cartoon called Captain Planet? Please tell me you are because I really want this reference to work.

Anyway, similar to the cartoon, you can harness the powers of fire, water, earth, and all the others. But instead of using these elements to save the world, you can use it to save your sex life.

Be romantic with some candles or a roaring fire. Or get wet and playful under the shower or out in the rain. Reconnect with nature by having sex in the dirt or on the beach. These sexual adventures may sound simple, but they can shift your energies in a positive way, especially if you typically make whoopie in a bed.

Touch each other; platonically.

Not only can giving your partner a massage help them relax and feel more comfortable, but it can also be super intimate. There’s an innate feeling of connectivity when it comes to physical touch and closeness; even if the massage doesn’t lead to anything more, you’ll both feel closer to each other afterward. Pick up some lube to start the massage, and you’ll be ready if things escalate to the next level.

Dust off your flirting skills.

Even if you’re painfully awkward like I am, flirting is worth the effort. It’s not uncommon for flirting to become rare once you’ve been in a relationship for a while and you’re comfortable pooping with the door open. But with the loss of flirting, also comes the loss of that fun spark you and partner had at the start of your romance, back when things were fresh and new and exciting. So spice things up a little again! Send your partner a flirtatious text message or write love letters. Try to bring that initial excitement back to your relationship, and thereby back to your bedroom.

Let go of stress.

Stress kills your sex drive. It’s science. Do some meditating. Maybe some yoga. And don’t take all that negative energy to the bedroom. Leave it at the office or in the stupid dryer which keeps stealing all of your socks. Focus on the moment, right there with your beautiful, and naked partner.

Smoke some of the good stuff.

My editors don’t like it when I go all hippie and suggest ideas like this. In fact, they likely omitted the suggestions I had about connecting with the earth and following the moon cycles. So if this point is still here, I’ve just gotta tell ya: ripping on a good joint can do wonders for your sex life. You like totally feel everything, man.

Not only is it likely to increase your libido, and help men last longer, but it will also make sex feel better because of the way THC affects our perceptions of pleasure in the brain. GoLove CBD Lube is another great cannabis option that doesn’t get you high. CBD calms the mind and relaxes your body so you can feel more sensation and pleasure.

Now that you have these tips down, you’re on the right path to becoming that noisy neighbor, shaking the walls during your throes of passion.

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Add some spark to your sex life with luxurious sex toys TickleKitty.com :

The post 7 Non-Sexual Ways to Improve Your Sex Life first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 7 Non-Sexual Ways to Improve Your Sex Life appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Or would it just delay the inevitable?

The meaning of sex can be much deeper than most people fully realize. I believe it’s the strongest transfer of human love and energy. You’re offering more than just your body when you partake in this act. In some cases, without even realizing it, we can give a lot more.

Not too long ago, I wrote an article describing how to set up a successful FWB relationship. The truth is, I don’t think I’d be able to pull something like this off for very long. And I know there are quite a few people who feel the same way. Allowing yourself to become so close to someone—so vulnerable and intimate—to co-create such a magical act on a regular basis and attempt to remain platonic is absurd to me.

I spoke to some female friends of mine while conducting my primary research for this article. One of them admitted that after just a single night of nooky she would catch feelings for guys she didn’t even particularly like beforehand.

Sound absurd? Studies show that when you share high adrenaline events with someone, like a roller coaster or bungee jumping, it can lead to sexual attraction. So just imagine what sex can do!

Maybe you don’t need to imagine because you’re like me and you’ve totally got it on before (I have; I swear). You know what sex is capable of doing. Perhaps it made you associate feeling amazing with your sexual partner. Or it could’ve even increased your feelings of love and attachment. All these weird and confusing feelings can be explained in another study.

What about people who have already been dating for a while? Can better sex actually save the relationship? Well, a lot of times, frequency of sex can be directly correlated with the quality of the partnership. Does this conversation between friends sound familiar?

“So how are you and Bob?”

“Things are okay. We stopped having sex.”

Do you think Bob and his lover would be better if they were still engaging in sexual intercourse? Maybe.

Now imagine if this hypothetical couple had eye-watering, body trembling, the mattress should just be burned afterward kind of sex. Bob and his partner would probably be in a lovely place. That’s the kind of coitus which could take all those petty disputes and annoyances, and chuck them in the bin next to the used condoms and empty lube bottles. This argument is especially valid if the two people love each other in the first place.

When the sex is good, that crazy little thing called love is more likely. This dangerous side effect is possible because when we orgasm, the part of our brain which makes decisions pretty much turns off. And while there’s nothing responsible in our brain to manage things, we’re flooded with all kinds of love hormones. So we’re confused, and we make really stupid decisions, like fall in love.

Furthermore, you can’t become addicted to fake orgasms, whereas real orgasms have similar addictive properties to drugs like heroin. And that’s pretty much what love is right? A tumultuous heroin addiction. Stronger and more frequent orgasms would undoubtedly make it more difficult to walk out that door.

Of course, better sex isn’t the cure-all solution to relationship problems. It’s entirely situational. Intercourse is just one important part of a healthy relationship spectrum. But it definitely could be the spark which reignites the dwindling ember. Sex provides another playing field to form a powerful bond with your partner, so it should never be overlooked.

Even if you disagree with everything I’ve blabbered on about, I do believe there’s one thing we can all agree on: better sex won’t hurt the relationship. Improving your sex life is always a great idea, especially if it’s done in addition to restorative practices and techniques on psychological and emotional levels.

The next question you might have is, “well, how can I get this better sex you keep talking about?”

You’re in the right place. I highly recommend checking out all of the free content available on The Tickle Kitty blog, followed by absorbing Dr. Sadie’s entire sex-how-to book catalog (including free online excerpts). The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris changed my life. All of her teachings are wonderfully informative. And once you’ve got the reading down, try incorporating some couple’s sex toys into the bedroom for realtime results.

Afterward, multiply the number of times you give oral sex per year by 100. That alone could probably save everything in the relationship. Heck, if everyone did that, we might even rescue the planet and bring about world peace.

***

Introducing sex toys to your bedroom routine has proven time and time again to have beneficial impacts on a dwindling relationship. Check ’em out at TickleKitty.com:

The post Can Better Sex Save the Relationship? first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Can Better Sex Save the Relationship? appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Even though Henry Kissinger was not referencing BDSM when he stated, “power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”, he was onto something. The exchange of power is a primary pillar of BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission) and truth be told, experiencing a rush of power as the Dominant or submissive partner can be intoxicating. A misconception about BDSM or kinky sex is that pain is required. This is not true; erotic power exchange simply involves one partner handing over control to the other in a meaningful way.

A classic component of bondage is impact play. This includes spanking, flogging, and even caning. Playful spanking (and other elements of BDSM) can be a gateway to a stronger bond with your lover, and incorporating a sexual fantasy into your repertoire has its rewards:

• It turns your partner on. Is there anything hotter than taking your partner’s sexual excitement into overdrive?
• The communication, trust, and care required is a vehicle to deeper emotional connection and intimacy with your lover.

Here are some basic steps to get your feet wet.

Before

Communication before, during and after any sort of power exchange or BDSM role playing is crucial. This includes establishing a safe word initially to use when either partner wants to immediately stop activity. This can be as lighthearted as the word ‘banana’ or ‘pussycat’. It is okay to change your mind at any given moment if you have reached your personal comfort threshold.

If you are in the research phase for spanking instruments, reach for something already in your home, such as a paddle hairbrush, or a wooden spoon. Note that any tool with a smaller surface area, like a crop, will create a very sharp sensation. For beginners, choosing a tool that makes a ‘thuddy’ sound as opposed to a snap, crackle, or pop will be less painful. Think a wide, fur-lined paddle, or a flogger with thick, soft straps.

During

• Position: For beginners, the traditional over-the-knee (OTK) is a classic position. However, instructing the submissive to lean against an object like a chair is just as reliable as long as the object remains sturdy.
• Placement: Keep impact confined to the peek of the butt and below. Anywhere above could put the kidneys and tailbone in jeopardy. The fleshiest part of the butt should be the bullseye. The ‘sweet spot’ is where the upper thigh meets the butt. By focusing on medium-to intense impact here, the sweet spot is close enough to the genitalia to send pleasurable aftershocks to the testicles or the vulva.
• Pace: Rapid, repeat strikes can be jarring. As the Dominant, take your time and distribute calculated strokes that allow for breathing room and suspense! The element of surprise goes hand-in-hand with spank-induced euphoria.

Aftercare

Whether you spank for pain, pleasure, or both, it will result in a rush of adrenaline and release of endorphins. Effective aftercare can range from:

• A verbal re-cap to discuss what was good, or what you may want to change next time
• Eating chocolate to replenish oxytocin
• Kisses, light strokes or a massage to promote relaxation
• Applying lotion or chilled aloe vera for cooling relief (unless you enjoy the pain and prefer to bask in the sting)

Pro tip: Always keep an open mind, and don’t knock it ‘til you spank it!

***

Experiment with spanking and other BDSM pleasures with sex toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post Spanking 101: What to Do Before, During and After first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Spanking 101: What to Do Before, During and After appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Long-distance relationships can be a cruel form of torture, especially with regards to one’s sex parts. I thought blue balls were bad. Then one day I found myself in one of these setups and suffered months away from my lover. It wasn’t long until the separation created a devastating form of genital neglect which spread to my brain and completely disrupted all forms of productivity. Oh, and I totally missed her for a number of other reasons.

To prevent this horrible condition from happening to you, I recommend making an effort to keep things sexy however many miles may separate you and your boo. Here are six ways to do so:

1. App-controlled toys.

Yes, app-controlled toys are amazing. And yes, they’re probably all you need to survive the sexual tension of a long-distance relationship.

Take for instance the Jive, a vibrator which uses Bluetooth. The toy connects with an app to give your partner the ability to control the vibrations—no matter where they are in the world. Your sweetheart can even watch you through the app’s built-in video streaming capabilities.

2. Smell your partner’s dirty laundry.

According to a study at the University of British Columbia, sniffing your partner’s previously worn clothing can help reduce stress. Female participants who whiffed their boyfriend’s dirty shirts had lower cortisol levels, which is the hormone that reflects stress.

That old familiar smell could even lead to a more robust sensory experience when being intimate with or without your overseas lover. And depending on how kinky you are, there are specific articles of clothing which might be more fun to bury your nose into.

3. Erotic games.

Many long-distance couples play games like go fish or charades over webcam to enjoy quality time with each other. How about sexy games? Up the ante by playing things like strip poker or Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games, which include some games perfect for the long-distance relationship.

4. Nudes.

It’s pretty obvious that guys want their ladies to send nudes. In an ideal world, men would get a naked picture for each day of the week. But we’ll settle for as many photos as we can get. Men understand nudes are an art form and can take an effort to get the lighting and angle just right.

It’s also worth noting that men would be honored to send dick pics if women are willing to humor us by pretending they actually want them.

5. Candid cameras.

It might have something to do with the fact that they’re naked and touching themselves all over, but men thoroughly enjoy watching their woman showering. The slippery aspect is really great as well.

Men would love it if their faraway women set up a camera pointed at the shower and we could admire them as they got squeaky clean. Cameras aimed at the bed and treadmill are also welcome.

6. Dirty love letters

Throughout history, some of the world’s greatest writers have mailed some downright naughty love letters. Check some of them out for inspiration.

If you still remember how to write freehand, this is a beautiful, romantic, and absolutely filthy way to keep things interesting when you can’t be close enough to do and say what you can share on paper. It’s also much more intimate than an email or text message because it includes your personal touch.

If you try all six of these sexy tips, in conjunction with some other long-distance measures, maybe that gap between the two of you might seem a little smaller. And when you’re back in each other’s arms, you won’t need to reignite anything because the fires will still be raging.

***

The great thing about sex toys is that they can be used with or without a partner. Whether your lover is near or far, experience pleasure with our top sex toys from TickleKitty.com:

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The post 6 Erotic Ways to Tease Your Long-Distance Lover first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 6 Erotic Ways to Tease Your Long-Distance Lover appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Many relationships eventually arrive at a point where they are in need of romantic resuscitation. This is a normal place to land (and not just once), especially for long-term relationships. In new relationships, the time is ripe to be transparent about your needs, specifically those of the sexual variety. Determining your sexual needs up front will help steer clear of an uncomfortable rut and/or resentment down the line.

Communication is tricky, even if the request is seemingly simple. Many individuals feel more comfortable remaining guarded about our sexual preferences, finding it nearly impossible to muster the courage to ask, “would you use two fingers instead of one?”, or “I’d love for us to try this new position tonight.” Fear of bashing feelings, being judged and/or rejected is a powerful silencer.  With that said, how do we speak up? First, identify the root of the issue. A few examples of communication roadblocks in a relationship:

• One or more sex drives have become unaligned
• A healthy sex life exists, but there is noticeable room for improvement
• One or both partners have expressed interest in exploring pleasure products, but aren’t sure where to start

When it comes to getting from Point A to Point B, start with a strategy.

Set your intention.

This is quite possibly the most important component of the process. Take the time alone to identify the goal, and determine how you ideally want to feel at the end of the conversation. Relieved? Inspired? Connected? Consider that feeling your target during communication. While pleasure might be the short-term goal, how will the conversation benefit your big picture? Try playing out different outcomes in advance, determining how to achieve the goal, despite possible tensions arising. Find relevant resources to help you feel comfortable talking about the subject; including online articles, adult videos, or consulting with a professional or some friends beforehand.

Location, location, location.

Establishing a neutral, safe environment is key for setting the energetic tone of any conversation. Also, initiating a discussion during or immediately after sex may not be ideal, as you risk the chance of catching each other off-guard or spoiling the moment. Go for a weekend walk in a new neighborhood (that may also conveniently have a sex toy shop on the block), or revisit the place you had your first date. Fun fact: Nostalgia makes us feel happier and more optimistic!

If it feels good, do it.

Don’t be afraid to speak up (from the heart, with confidence) if you are feeling particularly connected to your partner. Does it feel good to slowly (and consensually) guide your partner’s hand to uncharted territory on your body? What other physical cues will allow you to express yourself in the moment? Consciously connecting with your own body during sex promotes healthy sexual expression and ultimately, feeling liberated from the shame and stigma that is still attached to the idea of sex. You have the choice to create a positive and supportive interaction with your partner. Alternatively, you can be dismissive and uninterested. What do you choose?

ABC: Always Be Complimentary.

Any conversation should focus on the journey you are on together, rather than what may be lacking. Avoid the blame game! Compassion and consideration will make or break the way you listen to and understand each other—no matter how far out the idea is. If you are looking for an excuse to bring home a newcomer’s sex toy, attend a sex toy party with friends and invest in something unassuming, like a small bullet vibrator. (“Can I try some vibration on you to make you come harder tonight?”) If you cannot find a middle ground, how can you compromise? For example, if one partner wants to try anal sex but the other is unwilling or hesitant, compromise on watching an adult video together that features anal play. That way, both partners achieve a happy medium—together. (This tip is straight outta Dr. Sadie Allison’s book, Tickle His Pickle!) Lastly, try creating a master list of sexual interests that you both may or may not be interested in. Examples: Visiting a sex toy store, nipple play, spicing up your foreplay, anal sex, cock rings, shower sex, crossdressing, outdoor sex, visiting a fetish club, threesomes, etc. On two separate pieces of paper (one for each of you), make 3 columns titled: YES!,  MAYBE…., and NOPE. List all interests in the column that resonate with you most, and when you are finished, compare lists. This is a constructive and quick way to match up your interests at any point in a relationship.

Prioritize your pleasure. Have the hard conversations. The happiness will follow.

***

Nothing brings lovers closer like mutual intimacy. Share our top sex toys with your lover from TickleKitty.com:

The post A Roadmap to Getting What You Want in Bed first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post A Roadmap to Getting What You Want in Bed appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

If you’re old school like me, and you enjoy the physical feeling of holding an actual book (or a penis) in your hands, then you’re about to score a 2-for-1 special! I was so excited to crack this pocket-sized book open and flip through the eye candy that decorated each page. Upon first glance, the pocket sized Tickle His Pickle appeared as an instructional guide with a bit of a graphic novel vibe.  By page 6, I was hooked, and we had only just begun to hit the tip of the surface.

In the beginning, Dr. Sadie sheds a comforting light on some common intimacy inhibitors, such as overcoming hesitations about your partner’s scent or taste. These topics are portrayed as a cue to uplevel your love life by experimenting with new positions or pleasure products—just do it! One point that resonated with me the most is so simple, so accurate, and yet so overlooked at times—“Good communication starts at the lips.” Bless you, Dr. Sadie! Solid communication is THE foundation of a more intimate and exciting experience with any partner. We all deserve to feel good—and heard! I appreciate the fact that she addresses this before getting the sausage party started (in the book and otherwise).

As we all know, communication can be complicated—even if you are completely comfortable in a relationship. Not sure how to start communicating on a deeper level with your significant other? She suggests using the book itself as a suggestive stepping stone by leaving it somewhere your partner can see it. Depending on the reaction you receive—whether excited, or none at all, you will have a better idea of how to gauge the rest of the conversation.

Physical anatomy is also covered, starting with the sexual response cycle and the most ‘potent parts’ to incorporate during a romantic romp. Spoiler alert: they aren’t sexual organs. They are our eyes and ears! At this time, “Aural Aphrodisiacs” are explained, with Dr. Sadie stating ‘honesty is your best aphrodisiac’. This is such an understated approach to trying sexy talk without feeling cheesy or self-conscious. Focus on how your body is reacting to stimulation by calling it as you feel it, in a way that feels true to you.

One section of the book illustrates the contrasts in our sexual desires, and tips on accepting them. If your partner is turned on by anal play and you aren’t there yet, indulge them by watching an adult video that features anal sex. We participate in different types of negotiation on a regular day-to-day basis with all sorts of people including clients, children, and customers. Our sexual partners are no different.

The book pushes way past how to please the cock and balls, chock full of insightful details on everything from shaving to lubrication, and how to shop for it. (You don’t have to look very far—Dr. Sadie has her own line of female formulated lubricants, Slippery Kitty! Seriously, her intellectual limits know no bounds.)

My favorite part of the book was the prostate play section, a topic that can be tricky to navigate. Dr. Sadie recommends using medical role play as a vehicle to prostate exploration. The only reason I finally put this book down (vs. immediately reading it a second time) is because I was SO ready to put my new tips to work that I hauled ass to the lingerie store to purchase a hot nurse costume!

As a sex educator, I’d like to think I can be a pretty well-seasoned meat handler, but Dr. Sadie is on another level. Not only does the book provide accessible tips for all levels of penis lovers, but it is accompanied by the Tickle His Pickle Pleasure Kit, too! Tickle His Pickle is a prime example of Dr. Sadie Allison’s fine-tuned expertise, and as Adam Corolla likes to say, she truly is a penis genius.

Overall: Gripping

Grade: A!

***

Try out your newly learned sexy tips ‘n tricks with the help of pleasure products from TickleKitty.com:

The post Be a Penis Genius: ‘Tickle His Pickle’ Book Review first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Be a Penis Genius: ‘Tickle His Pickle’ Book Review appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Dr. Sadie Allison appears on Dr. Emily Morse’s latest Sex With Emily podcast with playful penis-seduction techniques in “How To Be A Penis Genius.” This IS hot!

But tip-to-taint penis pleasure is just the start. Dr. Sadie teases-up tips from her bestsellers, Tickle His Pickle and The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris. The two riff on the lost art of sensual handjobs, exquisite clitoral touch, the joy of orgasms (for each of you!), and everything sexy and seductive in between. Tune in for all this, and the Number One thing men crave in bed (psst…it ain’t what you think!)

Listen here.

As shown above, the two sexperts enjoy discussing all things sex. Don’t miss out! And for more pro sex tips and techniques, pick up a few copies of Dr. Sadie’s bestselling how-to sex books and give yourself and your lover the ultimate gift of pleasure.

Listen now! Free Podcast.
Pickle-tickling tips. Free Book Excerpts.

Discover the most thrilling ways to arouse the clitoris—just the way your lover desires—proudly freeing the most exquisite orgasms she has EVER experienced. The mystery of the clitoris is now solved, through touching, teasing, and tantalizing techniques uncovered in this how-to guide.

• Over 20 illustrated clitoral touching techniques to arouse, tease, and entice the clitoris, even during lovemaking
• How to fine-tune clitoral touch and unleash divine orgasms
• Sex toy tricks that’ll keep her coming…over and over again
• Best Sexuality Book of the Year IPPY Award-Winner
• Get a free excerpt of Undercover Clitoris.

Come discover all the highly orgasmic touches and seductive techniques his penis craves—and you’ll love giving. Tickle His Pickle revs up passion, rekindles intimacy, and sparks the reddest hottest lustiest sex—while  revealing all the priceless penis secrets you long to know.

• Over 50 illustrated sizzling techniques to master oral lovemaking
• Dozens of ways to turn your hands into living sex toys
• How to fulfill his biggest erotic fantasies (so he’ll beg for more)
• Sex toy tricks that’ll supercharge his orgasms
• Best Sexuality Book of the Year IPPY Award-Winner
• Get a free excerpt of Tickle His Pickle.

***

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The post Dr. Sadie Gets Sexy on the ‘Sex with Emily’ Podcast first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Dr. Sadie Gets Sexy on the ‘Sex with Emily’ Podcast appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

A few years ago I came across an ideology which revolutionized my dating life. It suddenly became clear which women I’d better connect with, and I understood how to meet their needs. Things were great. My romantic adventures became less complicated. The end.

Or was it? One magical day, I decided to apply these teachings to the bedroom, and something remarkable happened. I was able to overcompensate for all my many, many flaws.

Maybe you’ve come across The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman or its adapted teachings. The book suggests each person has a primary and secondary love language to which they will most positively respond. It’s a practical piece of literature, and I highly recommend you read it.

If you’re like me and you fall asleep every time you try to read for more than ten minutes, I’ve provided what each language is below in a hyper-condensed form. I’ve also included how to apply these five ideas in the bedroom.

1. Words of Affirmation

Does your partner say, “Oh stop,” when you give them a compliment (but you know they secretly want you to continue)? Then they might feel most loved with words of affirmation.

So tell them how good they look or how amazing they’re making you feel during sex. You want to be super vocal. Be all like, “Damn girl, your bum makes me hard and stuff,” or “Whoa, if you keep doing that I’m going to prematurely ejaculate all over the dang place (again).”

2. Acts of Service

Does finishing a honey-do list or preparing a nice meal make your partner swoon? Then they might feel most loved when you provide acts of service.

So give them lots of head. Most people love getting oral. But this category of people will likely appreciate it the most. If not, there are plenty of other acts of service you can provide in the bedroom. Try giving a back rub before the deed or washing the sheets afterward.  

3. Receiving Gifts

Can you get away with almost anything as long as you buy your partner a forgive me present afterward? Then they might feel most loved when you spoil them with gifts.

So buy them sex toys or a luxurious water-based CBD lube. Shower them with sexy presents, and they will shower you with passionate sex.

4. Physical Touch

Is the general population totally grossed out by how much your partner makes you partake in PDA? Then your boo might feel most loved with physical touch.

So cuddle them after sex. And feel free to give them adorable little eskimo kisses and hold their hand during your lovemaking sesh. People who fall under the physical touch category need extra affection.

5. Quality Time

Does your partner kind of feel like a stage 5 clinger? Do they miss you when you leave to go to the bathroom? Then your partner might feel most loved with quality time.

So don’t just slam and scram. That is, don’t leave your mate as soon as le sex ends. It’s probably a good idea for you to stay the night. Those who fall into the category of quality time want your presence more than anything else.

If you’re an overachiever like I wish I were, you can figure out what your partner’s secondary love language is too, and then mix and match that with their primary. For example, maybe your companion’s primary is physical touch, and their secondary is quality time. Then you can cuddle them to sleep after sex, and you’d be able to fulfill both their needs. Or maybe they respond to acts of service and receiving gifts. In this case, you could buy them really nice massage oil and then give them a full body rub before sexy times.  

***

Explore your lover’s language of love with sex toys from TickleKitty.com.

The post How to Use the Languages of Love to Improve Your Sex Life first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post How to Use the Languages of Love to Improve Your Sex Life appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Did you know a revered psychologist named Maslow ranked sex alongside essential stuff like food, water, and excretion in his hierarchy of needs? That’s why our drive to bang can be so outrageous sometimes. The thing is, our bodies are written in archaic code and can’t discern when procreation is necessary. We’ve overpopulated the planet yet men wake with boners every dang morning.

But what if you don’t want to procreate? What if you’re still finding yourself, or you’re a commitment-phobe, or you just don’t care for other humans? Are you forced to rely on your hands and sex toys? Some people do. And there’s nothing wrong with this.

The more adventurous ones become involved in this cool agreement called a FWB (friend with benefits) relationship where you can use those hands and sex toys with another real-life person. And you don’t even need to cuddle them after. Or have a baby. Here are five tips for creating a healthy FWB relationship:

1. Be upfront about your intentions.

Let the other person know you’re not looking for anything serious BEFORE having sex. This is the most crucial step. Yes, some people won’t be interested, but at least you’ll have peace of mind knowing you did the right thing.

We’re all grownups here—we shouldn’t have to write out contracts. But we should be able to trust that we aren’t going to lie and hurt one another. Life is hard enough; let’s make love a little easier.

2. Be careful who you pick.

Ask yourself this question before negotiating a FWB agreement with someone: are they worth the potential repercussions?

If this person is from work, or in your group of friends, or your neighbor, there’s a risk things could become unbearably awkward afterward. If you love your job or you don’t want to have to relocate to another neighborhood, think long and hard about proceeding.

Also, avoid people with whom you’re overwhelmingly enamored. Instead, try someone you like, but couldn’t picture anything serious with down the road. Like maybe this person has a banging body, but their laugh is annoying, or they wear cargo shorts, so it could never work.

3. Avoid coupley things.

It’s probably not a good idea to share banking information or enter into long-term contracts such as homes and boats and cars. I would be careful with how much time you spend cuddling too. This kind of stuff is what dating and married people do. Unless you both want to take things to the next level, commitments and sentimental things should be avoided. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for disaster.

4. Be observant.

Humans can be so sappy. It’s kind of adorable, but it can ruin a perfectly good FWB arrangement.

If your FWB buddy starts calling you just to talk or has that certain sparkle in their eye, you may want to consider ending it for their sake. Use your intuition here.

5. Be honest with yourself.

Whoa, you’re the one who caught feelings? What a plot twist.

If this happens, you have two options:

A) Tell them.

B) Leave.

I’ve already ranted about how necessary sex is, but you’ve gotta protect that heart of yours. And who knows, maybe if you share your feelings, the other person might like you back, and you can become one of those gross couples who make out on the bus and fart in front of each other.

***

Add some sex toys from TickleKitty.com to your FWB relationship for ultimate sexiness:

The post 5 Tips for Creating a Stress-Free Friends With Benefits Relationship first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 5 Tips for Creating a Stress-Free Friends With Benefits Relationship appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

No matter how legendary your manhood is, the three most probable responses to an unsolicited photo of your dick are the following:

• disgust
• report to your mom which would break her poor, old heart
• public shaming on a feminist-charged blog

All of these are highly undesirable, unless you’re the kind of guy who gets off on repelling the opposite sex. So if you’re the other kind of guy—the guy who enjoys being a gentleman—then forget about the dick pic.

BUT…

There are circumstances when women want dick pics (it’s a little known secret). It’s probably just to humor us, but I still think we should be prepared, just in case. I’ve highlighted below how to do so.
Just make sure not to tell the ladies where you got this information from. I don’t want to be known as the dude who revolutionized the dick pic and made it cool again.

The most important step in sending a dick pic, is the first one, which is:

1. Gain her expressed interest or desire to receive it.

Without this, DON’T send it.

Just don’t do it, man. It’s not worth it.

2. Use the right medium.

These days, there are unlimited ways in which you can send a snapshot of your sex parts. It’s truly a beautiful world in which we live.

But I must tell you that although we’ve been granted all these outlets to do what every man somehow feels compelled to do, there is only one I recommend using: Snapchat.

Snapchat was essentially designed for dick pics. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the brainchild behind Snapchat had this in mind when it was created. “How can the world more effectively send their dicks to people,” is very likely what this person thought when it came to them.

Although I’m only speculating in jest here, it makes total sense. The main reason for this is the disposable ability on Snapchat. You can literally set your dick to a timer, so that the picture vanishes completely with no evidence. And if she takes a screenshot picture of it, you will be notified, which basically means she has officially lost her dick pic privileges!

If you send it on Snapchat, feel free to leave a caption like: “This dick pic will self destruct in 10 seconds,” after setting it to 10 seconds.

3. Make it look pretty and stuff.

Here you are given a perfect opportunity to cater to your audience.

If she is artistic, take a photo of your dick in an expressively artistic way. Perhaps a monochromatic silhouette of your meat-tube against an ivy adorned wall.

If she’s a total joker, take a photo of your dick in a funny way. You could dress it up with a handlebar mustache on your pubic bone, or perhaps place your cock next to a mini-banana and jokingly tell her it’s a full size banana.

If she is sporty, well, you get the idea…

Another thing to have in mind: keep your pubes groomed. Plus, if you shave or trim your stuff, it will appear to look much larger, because it won’t be hidden behind the bushes.

4. To go hard or not?

Stiffie or soft? Now that is the question for the ages.

The form your penis takes during your photoshoot, should be based on whether you are a grower or shower. In other words, does your dick rally from something small to something impressive, or is it just always impressive?

If you decide to send it in a flaccid state, feel free to get some performance blood in there to make it look bigger, by doing some helicopters (or heli-cockters, which is what I like to call them), by spinning your dick around like a helicopter blade.

But I think girls would appreciate it more when it’s hard, which would suggest she turns you on.

Good luck gentlemen!

***

If the dick pic was well-received, take your sexy encounter further with our favorite men’s toys from TickleKitty.com :

The post How to Send Dick Pics Like a Gentleman first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

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Let’s be real: most guys are satisfied with women even showing up in the first place. We’ll take what we can get. Hey, you’re naked! Amazing.

The list of sexual stuff women do that men love could probably go on forever. So for the sake of my editors and the average reader’s attention span, I’ve narrowed the compilation down to some noteworthy feats women do which take everyday, pedestrian sex (which again, we’re more than okay with) to the next level. Here are six things women do in bed that men love…

1. Narrate what they’re doing.

“And now, I’m playing with your dick like it’s my own personal lightsaber. Ffffkrrrrshhzzzwooom. Bzuhzzzuhzzzuhzzz. Kkkksshhhh.”*

*lightsaber sounds were curated from a Reddit post discussing lightsaber sounds.

This kinda stuff is the best! Ah man, we love it when women do this. It creates anticipation for what she’ll do next, and we get to hear it in that sultry, bedroom voice. Vocalization is a major turn on, and when it’s used to narrate all the naughty things she does to us, it can heighten any lovemaking sesh.

2. Offer alternatives to rejected ideas.

Okay, so maybe you don’t want it in the butt. We get it. We’re freaky, and for some reason we’re intrigued with your bumholes.

But what about titty-fucking? Or 69ing? We understand that some women have boundaries and we respect that. When she’s willing to compromise by firing right back with another fun thing to try, guys really, really, REALLY like that. It beats getting the look of judgment.

3. Nurture us.

We have feelings too, okay? *Sniff* We might not show them often because we’ve learned to hide our vulnerabilities behind the metaphorical fig leaf, but they do exist.

When women can make us feel loved—with tenderness, care, intimacy—there is nothing better. We can get back to that raunchy, kinky sex tomorrow, but baby, just for tonight, can we get some of that good love?

4. Initiate.

Women know that we want it. We’re not exactly subtle. But do women want it too or do they just humor us so we’ll cuddle them and take them on dates? It’s hard to tell if we’re the ones who are constantly initiating.

Believe it or not, it can hurt our egos when we’re always pursuing. It feels nice when we’re wanted too. Even if it’s something small like suggesting a certain position or leading us with their hands, it’s very much welcome.

5. Be patient and understanding.

The penis is a fickle thing. It goes hard when one needs to pee. It stays soft when one needs to make love. It also encounters retraction periods. But with a woman’s patience and understanding, we’ll be able to overcome performance anxiety, and maybe we’ll be roaring to go tomorrow. Or maybe even in a few minutes… Oop! There it goes. Can we try again now?

6. Share their fantasies.

I want to live in a world where we can just help each other actualize all of our fantasies. Even our deepest and darkest ones (as long as they are morally okay).

Men want to feel needed. So when women confide in us their fantasies, it’s not only super sexy by definition, but it also gives us a chance to be an integral part of fulfilling her wildest desires—which could be the hottest thing EVER.

It also opens up a dialogue so we will feel confident to bring up our own fantasies. We have some fun and wild stuff we’d like to explore too.

***

Add more pleasure to your love life with these orgasmic goodies from  TickleKitty.com :

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The post 6 Things Women Do In Bed That Men Love appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Women may seem like complex creatures, but when we’re looking for sexual stimulation, getting us going can be quite simple. Sure, our desire may not be as pointed as his is, but some of the best sex I’ve ever had, had nothing to do with being penetrated. In fact, if you look beyond our lips, you’ll notice a whole, wide world that gets us wet.

1. Forego lust for love.

A woman wants to feel like you can’t get enough of her. She may want you to show this through kisses and touch, through spending quality time together, through the purchase of gifts, via your words or as a result of your actions. When you take time to notice the little details about our hair, or our clothing, it shows you care. When you open doors, tell us how beautiful we are and how much you appreciate us, you will get more of what you want too.

2. Screw flowers, figure out our fantasies.

According to a 2015 Neilsen report, 85% of romance novel readers are women. Combine that with the popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise and you can see how romance, and a little sexy-kinky-power-play can combine to make for some hot nights of steamy sex.  Bring a romance novel to bed and offer to read a chapter, or ask your lady what types of fantasies turn her on and then find a video or book with that theme. You can even use the book as a role-play guide by becoming the characters and acting out the scene. Reading erotic material together can allow you to be more creative, and can allow your woman to feel more empowered and tolet the power dynamic shift from reality to romance.

3. Slow down, you move too fast.

Yes, a quickie works some of the time, but as my friend and fellow sex educator Barbara Carrellas always says, “Men are like microwaves, and women are like ovens.” That means women take a lot longer to heat up. Don’t rush it, instead ration it out. Start and stop your touch, licks or thrusts, listen to her body, her breathing and her words of encouragement or insight. Try putting a blindfold on her and slowly, very slowly, almost as if you’re not moving at times, touch and tease her, for as long as she can take it.

4. Let her be in charge.

Sometimes a woman likes to be in control, and sometimes she may want to lose control. Either way, try switching up who takes the lead in your sex life, and see how your lady responds. Sure, she may need a little encouragement from you, especially so that when she ties you up, she knows you’re truly game to being submissive. Buy her her first bondage kit and then crawl over to her and say, “Mistress, I beg you to tie me up and tease me.” Remember, practice makes perfect!

5. Touch that clit!

It’s not always penetration or G-spot stimulation that brings a woman to orgasm. Clitoral stimulation is the golden rule of sex play for the majority of ladies. That means rubbing around, on, or near the clitoris. Add some lube to the pad of your pointerfinger and see if she gets more worked up going clockwise or counterclockwise. Try tapping the clit or playing with the frenulum above her clitoris. The more attention you pay to detail, the more aroused she’ll become.

The bottom line is if you turn her on, she’s likely going to want to return the favor.

***

Want more ways to get your lover going? Turn her one with these top sex toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post 5 Things That’ll Get Her More Excited About Sex first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 5 Things That’ll Get Her More Excited About Sex appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Now that Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism–otherwise known as BDSM–have hit peak popularity in mainstream media, strictly-vanilla couples are curious to see what all the fuss is about. Even Fifty Shades can make dipping into bondage and blindfolds seem a bit intimidating, but with a bit of patience and a gentle touch, anyone can safely and pleasurably take kinky sex for a spin.

If you’re a newbie to using toys and accessories to dominate and stimulate, it’s best to begin with some basic BDSM moves that enhance sensation. These 5 introductory BDSM suggestions are a sexy and easy way to add some flavor to your usual routine. Just remember the Golden Rule of kinky sex: always talk about what you plan to do and get your partner’s consent before you start the naughty action.

1. Sensory Deprivation

Teasing your partner with the gentle element of surprise is an enticing way to begin foreplay. Ask your partner to sit in a comfortable chair or lie down on the bed. Using a silky blindfold or soft piece of fabric like a neck tie, bandana, or light scarf, cover your partner’s eyes and gently secure the fabric behind their head. Removing the sense of sight heightens your other 4 senses, so everything you taste, touch, smell, or hear will send extra tingles down your spine. Imagine how lush a whip cream-covered strawberry will taste, or how much a tickling feather will turn on your blindfolded partner? For newcomers to sensory deprivation, introduce the blindfold without any wrist or ankle restraints. Kiss and gently touch your partner to ease them into the darkness, and ask them to vocalize what they feel with every stroke, tickle, and caress.

2. Spanking–With a Twist

Spanking is a BDSM staple with a common misconception. Leave the heavy leather floggers in the dungeon and start with the adorable, ribbon-adorned Heart Beat Crop. Getting spanked is more about increasing blood flow to certain areas of the body, which increases sensitivity to your partner’s touch. Try this little experiment if you find yourself associating spanking with pain. Choose a sexy accessory like the Tickle Time Feather, or grab a regular hair brush from your bathroom. Notice how it feels to run the feather or brush bristles over your palms. Now clap your hands a few times–not so hard that it hurts, but just hard enough that your palms start to turn red. Immediately brush the feather over one of your palms, or use the hair brush to gently scratch and press into your skin. Feels a lot more enticing after clapping, doesn’t it? The same concept works for your butt, thighs, arms, or anywhere else on your body that you want to gently increase sensation.

3. Silk-Tied Wrists

Now comes the B in BDSM–bondage, and it can be just as sensual and soft as the rest of your foreplay. Use a beginner’s cuff like the Comfort Handcuffs, or another soft fabric similar to your DIY blindfold, and bind your lover’s wrists in a comfortable position above their head, behind, or in front of their body. If you’re brand new to bondage, don’t tie your homemade cuffs too tight, and make sure your partner can wiggle their arms and wrists. As you gently move their arms into place, whisper sexy-sweet nothings in their ears about all the orgasmic pleasure they’ll receive once tied up. Trust us, they’ll let you know if and when they’re ready for you to get rougher.

4. Suction Sensations

Just like spanking, using gentle suction on erogenous areas like the nipples or clitoris pulls blood to the surface of the skin, resulting in extra sensitivity and even stronger orgasms. Use a pair of nipple suction toys, like the Nipple Play Suckers, or a vulva pump like the
Intimate Embrace Vibrating Vulva Pump a few minutes at a time. Remove the suction and give your lover’s puffed-up nipples or vulva a long, soft kiss or a warm lick. Then work your way up to 5 – 10 minutes of sucking pressure. The longer you leave them on, the more they’ll feel when you switch from the toy to your mouth. When you’re both ready for the next step, mix suction toys with a bit of light bondage, a blindfold, and killer oral sex.

5. Say It Sexy

Dirty words are the icing on the BDSM cake. A submissive’s pleas of “yes, mistress” are like music to a dominant’s ears, and obedient subs don’t dare make a move without a command from their Domme. If playing master and servant isn’t exactly your thing, you can still take a cue from kinky lifestylers and work dirty talk into your routine. As with all BDSM activities, have a thorough discussion with your partner before you scream “you’re my nasty little slut!” in the throes of passion. Find the words that turn you and your partner on the most by whispering them into each other’s ears before you take your clothes off. One person might enjoy hearing they’re gorgeous and great in bed, while someone else might get off on more aggressive talk and sexual demands.

The best part about BDSM–and sex overall–is that you have complete freedom to turn up the heat or slow things down to the intensity that works for you. Always take small steps and communicate with your partner as you both navigate from vanilla to kink. You never know when you’ll find your next favorite bedroom activity!

***

What better way to explore your kinks than with sex toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post 5 Kinky Moves for BDSM Beginners first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 5 Kinky Moves for BDSM Beginners appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

“So, what time should I pick you up, Sweetie?” It had been so long since Phylicia had seen Riley, her excitement was off the charts. She wasn’t just counting days, she had a timer on her desk that displayed hours, minutes and seconds.

“I can’t tonight. Sorry, Baby. Business. You know how it is. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

Her heart sank. “Sure. I understand. It’s not like I had anything special planned,” she lied, thinking of the expensive champagne chilling in the refrigerator and the new vibrator in her nightstand. “But I really want to talk to you about what my boss said to me today. It was terr—”

“I’d love to, Baby. But another time. I’m slammed. Still at the office. I’ll call. I promise. Love you.” [click]

Stunned and downcast, she curled up on the sofa and hugged a pillow. After thirty minutes of moping around the apartment, she sighed and decided to finally play with the telescope she’d purchased. She lived opposite a series of glass towers, and her curiosity about her neighbors had gotten the best of her. As she scanned the windows, she was surprised to come across two women making love in a shower. Despite the thrill of forbidden pleasure, she knew she’d crossed a boundary. She moved on to another apartment.

She’d already told herself that, when it came to respecting people’s privacy, she would follow a commonsense rule. Everyone living in homes with transparent walls knew the risks of being seen. Open curtains, then, meant the inhabitants didn’t mind that aspect of their lives being watched. She assumed the lovers got caught up in the passion and forgot to close the drapes.

It struck her a few minutes later, however, that none of the bathrooms in that apartment building had windows. So how could she see the sexy pair in the shower? Unable to let it go, she took a second look. It turned out that what she was looking at was a mirror that reflected a view of the apartment’s bathroom. The two women making love in the shower. Gloriously naked. Lovingly lathering one another up. Hugging. Kissing. Pleasuring every inch of their beautiful flesh with their hands and lips.

Phylicia looked away. Not only was she sure the women would object to being watched, but their lovemaking only reminded her of how long it had been since her body had been touched that way. The ache was deep and torturous. She went to the kitchen, poured herself a large glass of wine, and felt sorry for herself. Then it hit her. There’s something familiar about those two. Do I know them? She raced back to the telescope. It is! Tinker and Belle! I had no idea!

‘Tinker’ and ‘Belle’ were two women who were always in the front row of the spinning class she took each evening. She called them that because they looked like ‘pixies’ to her. Very petite. ‘Pixie’ haircuts. Sweet, high pitched voices. Phylicia always took a bike three rows directly behind them, and she couldn’t help but envy their tight, shaped behinds. Frankly, it was trying to get an ass like theirs that motivated her to work as hard as she did in class.

Knowing that having answered the ‘Do I know them?’ question meant she had no more reason to watch, she tried to look away—but couldn’t. The sex was hot, and the atmosphere was playful. There was lots of giggling and laughter, followed by raw, desperate, hungry passion. The girls were absolutely uninhibited in their giving and receiving pleasure.

On top of the sex, however, their love was so palpable—and stood in such stark contrast to her own life—she was desperate to share in it. Bracing herself against the wall, she slid her hand into her panties. Imagining it was Tinker’s hand massaging her wet pussy, she came with such force, her knees buckled and she almost fell over.

When her body stopped trembling, a wave of guilt washed over her. It was one thing to accidentally see the naked couple. (Oops! My bad! Moving on.) It was another to go back (Just trying to determine how it’s possible for me to see into a bathroom with no windows)—and then return again (I’m sure I know those girls). But she had no good defense for what she’d just done. She knew the lovers would not agree to her using their most intimate moments as ‘reality porn’ to masturbate to. No matter how frustrated she was, this didn’t excuse such an invasion of privacy.

As she was beating herself up, her phone pinged. Seeing that the text was from Riley, her heart leapt—Yeah! Change of plans! When she read the message, it crashed.

“Delayed at work for another hour. Will be late—so even hornier! Be ready with cold bubbly, wet pussy, and no panties! Expect the best fucking weekend of your life. Get it? XXX.”

Phylicia felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. She couldn’t breathe. Riley had already cancelled their evening plans. Damn! It’s everything I was afraid of. That’s what those cancelled weekends must have been all about. When she regained her composure, she resolved to finally take control of her life. She wasn’t going to wait for some stupid excuse she’d desperately want to believe. She texted back through her tears, “Don’t even bother to try to explain. Don’t call. Don’t text. We’re done!” The phone immediately rang, of course. She refused the call and blocked Riley’s number.

After spending the weekend in bed, going through six boxes of Kleenex and a half-gallon of Rocky Road, she dragged herself to work. As much as she wanted to scurry home and climb back under the covers, she ordered herself to go to the gym. Iam taking my life back today! We have ice cream calories to burn! But when she saw Tinker and Belle, all she could think of was the erotic scene they’d starred in. Class was agony.

Desperate for any kind of balm for her pain, she gave herself permission to spy on the sexy shower babes one more time when she got home. If watching the couple would give her at least a glimmer of hope about her own life, she was sure they’d understand.

When she trained her telescope on their apartment, however, she found a sign, not the sexy couple. “Hey there, Back Row Lipstick. Wanna play? There’s plenty of hot water, and room for one more dirty girl!” Their phone number followed.

She didn’t care how they knew. All that mattered was someone wanted her. Talk about fantastic gaydar! She grabbed her phone and dialed.  “Hi,” she said nervously, in a voice overflowing with relief and desire. “Do you mean it?”

The voice on the other end was soft, sweet, and full of concern. “Absolutely. You looked so unhappy in class tonight, we want to cheer you up. You don’t have to tell us what’s going on, but please don’t say no. You’re gorgeous, and we’ve been crushing on you for weeks. It broke our hearts to see you so sad.”

Phylicia teared up. “I’ll be right there.”

*

Within two minutes of her entering their apartment, the three of them were naked and wet (in every way imaginable). The girls’ shower was amazing. Water not only rained down from above, sprays pulsated from every direction. The all stoodalmost motionless for a few minutes as they hugged, kissed and let their hands roam over each other’s naked flesh.

Phylicia luxuriated in the feeling of being desired by two such beautiful women. The sensation of four hands and two mouths pleasuring her almost made her pass out.

“Tonight is all about you,” Belle said sweetly. “We want to make you happy. You can worry about us,” she winked and giggled, “next time.”

Phylicia had done without for so long, each touch made her hungry for more. She responded to each kiss with increasing passion, noticing how differently the two women kissed and touched. Tinker was aggressive; Belle, softer and gentler. It felt wonderfully wrong to be with two women at the same time. It was the sexiest moment of her life.

The two girls squeezed a rich, beautifully scented lavender gel into their hands and v-e-r-y slowly ministered to every inch, every curve, every opening of Phylicia’s body. Returning to her breasts, each girl took a nipple. Tinker roughly tugged and squeezed the left one. Then she ran her teeth around the stiff peak, and bit ever so lightly. Belle gently tongued and sucked the other. Such completely different sensations sent Phylicia’s excitement skyrocketing. Her heart pounded. She breathed so deeply she couldn’t help but take in some of the mist enveloping them. When Tinker bit harder, she came. Her body shuddered as she screamed in amazement. It was the first time she’d ever come just from someone playing with her breasts.

Belle gave her a chance to recover, then stepped behind her, squeezed her ass, and … “Ow!” The hard slap on her behind took her by surprise. Her ass stung sharply because it was wet. But the pain quickly morphed into an indescribable warmth in her pussy. A second slap sent so much pleasure shooting through her body, her knees wobbled. She felt herself heading towards another peak already.

Tinker knelt down and ran her stiff tongue along every surface of the swollen red lips. Teasing the clitoris out from hiding, she sucked it forcefully.

Phylicia squirmed from the rough delight. It made her greedy for ecstasy. “Fuck me. Please, fuck me,” she begged.

Tinker complied, sliding two fingers inside and began slow, deliberate, excruciatingly delicious, and agonizingly delightful finger fucking. As she increased the speed, Phylicia’s deep moans announced she was on the edge—and desperate for release. Pressure on her G-spot rocketed her to another climax, and took her to a place she’d never gone before. Her cunt clenched ferociously around Tinker’s fingers. Her body shook in ecstasy. She let out an inarticulate groan and collapsed into their arms.

Phylicia’s new lovers toweled her off and led her to bed. As they cuddled in the afterglow, Phylicia noticed something in the corner of the bedroom.

“Is that a telescope?”

***

Make a splash with our favorite waterproof toys from  TickleKitty.com:

The post “Shower Voyeur” first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post “Shower Voyeur” appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Women aren’t the best at making the first move. Well, at least in my experience. They opt not to use pickup lines, even though these sacred scriptures are a hybrid of poetry and magic. Women also have difficulty bouncing back from rejection. And yet, I believe it’s best for everyone if the fairer sex expresses romantic interest first from now on—even if it means years of cheesy pickup line evolution goes to waste.

Speaking on behalf of my gender, I know how awkward, and aggressive, and inappropriate, and stupid, etc., we can be. That said, here are some reasons women should take the reins:

Men can’t grasp the friendzone.

History has stubbornly shown us that men just don’t get it. You see, men don’t possess the attention to detail to decipher the subtle hints women drop us. She may still talk and act the same around us, but for all we know, she could’ve placed us in the friendzone months ago, even though we’re dying to kiss her at every moment. Some men have even found themselves in the collective friendzone of the entire female gender, and yet they’re oblivious.

Let’s not blame the staggering number of men who fall victim to this inescapable vacuum of space. Let’s not blame women for putting us in undetectable categories. Instead, let’s make a straight exchange to allow the meticulous gender to figure out how to navigate the friendzone. Please? We’re all so lost.

It’s the ultimate adrenaline rush.

Ladies… You’ve gotta try it. It’s such a thrilling experience, especially when the wooing attempts take place in front of a crowd. The stakes can be so overwhelming you just want to spew mom’s spaghetti like in that Eminem song.

But don’t worry about how devastating this experience can be for your ego. Go and put yourself out there, be persistent, and embrace the motto, “zero fucks given,” with regards to rejection. It’s a great way to build character.

It’s empowering.

In the spirit of equality, this role reversal would be empowering for many women. The dating app Bumble attempted to create this atmosphere by giving women the ability to message first. And I liked where it was headed. I would love to see this dating concept spread to the outside world.

Women know how to take a hint.

Unlike a large number of men, the vast majority of women know when to cut their losses and move on. Whereas men sometimes take things a little too far. So if trading places leads to a safer and more comfortable dating experience, I’m all for it.

Men wouldn’t get offended.

Men pretty much ALWAYS enjoy being hit on. It’s an ego boost, rather than an unwanted part of everyday life. So do it. Catcall us as we strut past construction sites. Randomly ask us if we want to go on a date. Gawk at us when an unsuspecting burst of steam from a subway blows up our cargo shorts. I think this would be the ultimate exchange because women are exasperated living everyday life like this, and men think they can handle it.

It’s super hot.

It might be the unexpected nature or the immense confidence it takes, but when women are the ones who pounce, it’s exceedingly sexy. I become a bumbling fool when women strike first, and I happen to know many men who act the same.

So what do you say, ladies? Want to trade places? You might need to clearly verbalize your answer because as I’ve previously explained, men aren’t so great at taking hints.

***

Woo him with sex toys and shop our favorite selections from TickleKitty.com:

The post Why Women Should Make the First Move first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Why Women Should Make the First Move appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Most men are simple beings. And at the end of the day, they just want to be validated and appreciated for all that they do for their women and families. Men like to be recognized for their good qualities and thoughtful actions. They want to know that they’re doing a good job, and that their efforts are noticed and appreciated. That’s not too much to ask, right?

It’s important to show plenty of gratitude to the man in your life. Here are some wonderful things he may be doing on a regular basis, but that may be flying under your appreciation-radar:

His compliments or spontaneous acts of affection.

When you get a “hey baby, I really like that dress on you”, or a “just because” hug and kiss, respond with returned affection or genuine compliments about him. Put that smile right back on his face, because you know how good it feels!

All the little things he does.

Men are do-ers and this is often how they show their love. While it may not be flowers or a new purse (or your preferred love language), it’s his way of caring. So acknowledge the tasks he does like fixing the car, changing the lightbulbs or mowing the lawn. Let him know you’re thankful for all those little things he does. Just your acknowledgement will mean the world to him.

His generous loving in the bedroom.

If you’re lucky enough to have a man who knows how important your sexual pleasure is, let him know you fully appreciate it! Not only does he love his ego stroked with compliments, but you can also show him your gratitude by returning the favor. Stroke his ‘other ego’ with some Slippery Kitty Lube or use his favorite toy and give him a new and exciting sexual experience. For dozens of illustrated oral pleasure techniques, pick up my bestselling book, Tickle His Pickle. You can never go wrong with a “Thank You BJ”.

His no-drama attitude.

Most men could care less about the small stuff, or squabbling over standard female-fare. This is a huge benefit—imagine what it’d be like if he were as sensitive as some of us women can be! Even though he may totally miss the mark on some things, revel in the fact that he’s able to let things roll off his back easily, and enjoy the peace.

His communication skills.

Some guys are challenged when it come to being a good communicator. If you’re fortunate enough to have an open communicator, who’s not afraid to be transparent and share his feelings, take the time to not only listen—but thoroughly hear—what he’s saying. Then acknowledge, validate and take his words to heart.

His thoughtful planning and surprises.

When he springs for a surprise date night, unexpected flowers, or does some of the household chores, don’t let that go unappreciated! Let him know how much you love his thoughtfulness. Take your turn and surprise him back with some romance and playful seduction. He’ll definitely appreciate your appreciation!

His listening and reasoning skills.

When your man gives you his undivided attention and takes time to really listen to you, bless your lucky stars. Every woman deserves a man who will happily talk things through when something (anything) is on our mind. No woman wants to hear a big poopie sigh when we ask “can we talk”. So if you’re fortunate enough to have an engaged, thoughtful listener, let him know you appreciate it by always giving him the same respect when he needs to talk. Also encourage more open dialogue, if you know that’s not his strong suit and that it could help him along.

While this is a short list of all the wonderful things our men do, and there’s certainly a matching list for women’s appreciation, I hope this inspires thoughtful conversation and promotes closeness, mutual understanding and personal growth in your relationship.

***

Make him feel even more appreciated with some of our men’s favorite toys from TickleKitty.com:

The post What Men WISHED Women Appreciated More About Them first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post What Men WISHED Women Appreciated More About Them appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The birds and the bees aren’t what they used to be! In a lighting-fast internet culture of easily accessible porn, increasing peer pressure, and misinformed abstinence-only sex education, it’s hard to know where to begin when preparing your kids for a safe, healthy sexual future.

Though some parents have that coveted, BFF-level relationship with their kids, not every family has it so easy. Kids naturally become more aloof and distanced from their parents as they reach adolescence, so it’s important to start the sex talk while they’re young and build their trust in you as a guiding adult. You don’t have to hide their eyes from every movie sex scene or snoop through their online history. Start your kids’ sex education with a foundation in honest, candid information, and they’ll have the decision-making smarts to pick healthy choices as they mature into sexual beings.

Anatomy Lessons

Previous generations often equated anatomy with sexuality. Hence, a lot of girls thought they could get pregnant from kissing, but assumed the pulling-out method was effective birth control. Don’t feel shy when they start to ask about the vagina and vulva or penis and testicles. Start with the basics, and see where the kids steer the conversation. They might know more than you’d expect, or they might be more concerned with imaginary friends and toys, in which case they’re telling you to wait for a better moment to explain how babies are made. In either case, a basic, age-appropriate anatomy book is a good way to test the waters. Let them page through it alone, and then pick it up together to see what connections they’ve drawn. Encourage questions, and never let them leave the conversation confused.

Knowledge Equality

Schools are fond of separating girls and boys for respective talks on menstruation and spontaneous erections. It’s understandable that children might not feel comfortable learning about sensitive topics with the opposite sex in the room. However, make sure they get the other half of the puberty lesson at home. It’s important for boys to understand periods, and for girls to understand the hormonal changes in their male classmates. Let them know that everyone their age will experience these changes as they get older, and that it’s a time to extend empathy and camaraderie to their peers instead of teasing and laughter. Periods and boners are normal, and it’s about time we raised a generation of kids that understood that from the start.

Safer Sex, Safer Teens

Since when has denying teens access to birth control or condoms convinced them not to have sex? Ask your parents and, with a sigh, they’ll probably reply, “never.” If your kids are on the brink of puberty, educate them on safe sex and allow them ample access to various forms of birth control. Make sure they know you’re available for advice without fear of punishment or shame. Explain the physical and emotional commitments required for sex without trying to scare them away with moral judgements. Talk about the importance of consent and caring for your partner’s well-being. Equip teens with the facts, but don’t try to stop them from having sex by grounding them from the weekend party. They’ll just find a way to sneak out later, and they certainly won’t ask your advice on being safe. Giving teens the chance to make their own right decisions instills confidence and foresight into their actions.

Lead with Honesty and Heart

We know, parents—there is no instruction manual for raising kids, and every child needs an educational experience that is tailored to their personality and learning style. No matter what topic you’re discussing, always be honest and show your kids that you’re teaching from the heart. It can sometimes be embarrassing or even intimidating to reveal the truths of human sexuality to impressionable young minds, especially when they’re your own. When you’re unafraid to bare your soul and approach everything from a place of love, kids pick up on that. Even if they don’t always say it, they’ll gain a newfound respect for their parent as a wise, guiding sage, and will forever seek to maintain your trust.

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Be equipped to educate by using some of these beginner’s toys as teaching tools. You can also try them out for yourself, from TickleKitty.com:

The post A Modern Approach to Educating Kids About Sex first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post A Modern Approach to Educating Kids About Sex appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Amazingly, guys have a powerful orgasm trigger besides the penis, yet many have never gone near it. A bit surprising, huh?

That spot is the prostate, which some call the “P-spot,” and others call the “He-spot.” After all, it is about him. This walnut-sized gland is two-to-three inches inside the A-spot (anus), just behind the pubic hairline. The prostate’s job is to create and store much of the fluid for ejaculation, so millions of sperm can hitch a ride out of the body during orgasm.

Stroking the He-spot directly can actually trigger orgasms quickly and easily—even if the penis isn’t being touched! Guys describe this type of orgasm as locally intense and mind-blowing (whereas women describe their G-spot orgasms as more full-bodied).

What holds so many guys back from experiencing this magnificent gift of pleasure? Penetration inhibition. Yet by exploring techniques with a caring, willing lover, he may discover an entire new world of sexual satisfaction awaiting at his own back door. And all you need is a single fingertip to get him there!

How to Stimulate His He-Spot

Whether your guy is confident or cautious, giving him a He-spot orgasm can change his outlook on life—and on you. If he’s game (all you have to do is ask!), here’s what comes next:

Always touch his He-spot with care. Remember, it’s a gland. Start with light fingertip rubbing, using the same pressure you’d use to rub your eyeball through a closed eyelid. Try stroking the He-spot with either a “come hither” stroke or a windshield wiper motion (but no poking, please!).

No matter how you’re stroking him, he may not be able to discern your exact motions. Try two different stroking styles, and then whisper, “Do you like A…or B?” This will make it practical for him to guide you. From there, it gets easier by simply asking: Harder? Softer? Slower? Faster?

Don’t be surprised if he loses his erection—it’s perfectly common—but you may need to reassure him as well. This doesn’t mean he’s not having the time of his life, or that he won’t come—it’s just his body’s way of directing all his energy and focus to your loving touch as his pelvic muscles relax. If you want to really blow his mind, blow him at the same time!

If he does orgasm from prostate play, his ejaculate may flow out—rather than in his customary squirts or streams. Or he may show all the physical signs of coming, yet nothing comes out. Or he may never come this way at all. And guess what? It’s all okay.

If you’re wearing a strap-on, review these penetration tips first, then get ready for the time of his (and your) life!

***

For more ideas on P-spot (or G-spot) stimulation, explore these orgasmic toys from Tickle Kitty :

The post The He-Spot: His Orgasm Trigger first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post The He-Spot: His Orgasm Trigger appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Ahhh… those first frenzied moments when penis touches labia. When every sexual sensory cell yearns to be stroked. When the thrill of conquest is on the verge of being rewarded. There’s a real art to intensifying these feelings of penetration for you and your lover—and you’re the artist.

Knowing she will experience these first few moments of ecstasy differently from you is key to creating your masterpiece. What does she crave? How can you supercharge it? Come probe and find out. But before the probing begins, there are a few steps to take to ensure optimal pleasure for both you and your partner:

Lubricate Your Love

It probably goes against every bone in your body—especially that big throbbing one—but unless your woman tells you she wants it hard and fast right from the get-go, resist the lust to thrust. Why? She’s not ready.

Your lover won’t feel very loving if you start trying to penetrate before she’s fully preheated. It’s boorish, selfish, and can be uncomfortable or even painful for her. Remember: If she’s dry, standby. If she’s wet, you’re all set.

To maximize the wet fun, grab a bottle of Slippery Kitty Lube—available in Au Naturel or Strawberry flavor—and lather it on your lover to prepare her for the ride.

Treat Her to an Exotic Labial Massage

This massage isn’t on the menu at any spa—but add it to your menu and she could flow like a fountain.

Here’s how: drizzle a little sex lube or saliva directly into the action and spread it around, so you’re both glistening and slippery.

With your hand, slowly guide the head of your slippery erect penis right up to the entrance of her vagina. Resist the urge to go deep! Instead, slowly tease by circling the tip all around the opening, then glide it between her labia up to her clitoris. After a few tempting clitoral swirls, slide it back down to the opening.

Repeat your special massage with several more sensual laps up and down her labia. Admire the view, enjoy the sensations, don’t rush, and use all your superpowers to stay outside. Your rewards will soon come.

Making Your Grand Entrance

When you can’t wait any longer, use your hand to help slide the head of your penis inside. Feel her soft lips surround you as you stimulate those millions of pleasure cells at the mouth of her vagina.

But now’s not the time to go on autopilot—use your sixth sense to match the angle of your erection to her angle of acceptance. Start slowly, and if all is well, go a little deeper, then deeper, then deeper till you’re completely inside.

This is what many women fondly call the “hurts so good” moment—when the vagina is spread wider with pleasure by your grand penetration and the thrilling feeling of fullness. If your lover is expressive, you’ll hear all about it in her sensual vocalizations.

Now you’re faced with a choice. You can start pounding in’n’out like every other Tom, Harry and Dick—or you can thrill her with some incredible sensual abilities, which is exactly what she wants!

Get Your Pump On

By nature, the male always has some (or most) control over the pumping. So why limit yourself to driving in just one gear?

Head Bob. To tease her into a yearning frenzy, stroke shallowly, in’n’out, with just the head of your penis for awhile, nothing deeper.

Combo Platter. Try three mini-pumps only a few inches inside, followed by one long, deep, graceful thrust. Repeat in rhythm.

Divine Grind. Show her you know her by grinding your cushy pubic bone into her tender clitoris…slowly…sensually…erotically …while your penis fills her.

Knead To Speed. After a slow, teasing start, accelerate your pumping toward orgasm. If you feel like you’re going to come too soon, downshift and try the Divine Grind.

Angle The Dangle. Your mission: find ALL your lover’s internal pleasure spots. Pivot and angle your penis all around till she moves and moans with pleasure.

Love Lever G. With your penis buried inside, angle and position for targeted G-spot stroking.

Jackhammer. Some women love it hard and fast. Some don’t know till they try it. And the rest will never like it. So try it once—and if she goes crazy with delight, keep drilling!

Rhythm Nation. There’s a reason sex is known as horizontal dancing—it’s the rhythm. Rather than pump mechanically—groove to the excitement of making love together, pumping, grinding and gyrating in sync with your mutual passion as your entire bodies sway in harmony, including hips, shoulders and knees.

Whether this is brand new to you, or merely a refresher course, the biggest thrills of sex are now in your capable hands!

***

Penetration is great, but add some toys to further heighten orgasms. Explore the Tickle Kitty Boutique for more options:

The post The Art of Penetration first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post The Art of Penetration appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Threesomes come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they happen spontaneously. You’re out dancing one night and the next thing you know, you, your bestie and the dude you met at the bar a hot second ago are tangled up in bed. Or maybe you’ve got a steady partner, but someone from your past resurfaces and requited sexual tension sends sparks flying. For some couples, it’s highly erotic to watch their partner give and receive pleasure with another person.

No matter how you want to ménage à trois, it’s a top fantasy for both men and women, yet few are willing to take the plunge. Rightly so, it can be a tricky dynamic for even the most secure of couples and individuals to navigate. It’s unlikely that every three-way session will be red-hot and magical, but they can be safe and fun. Here are a few tips to help scratch that itch—and reduce any potential weirdness.

1. The more talking beforehand, the better

If you’re thinking about dipping your toe into the pool for a group swim, it’s vital to address hopes, fears and expectations. Whether you’re flying solo or embarking on this sexual path with a plus one, it’s best to over-communicate any potential concerns before getting into bed. Nothing kills a mood faster than a “you never told me that” revelation in the middle of sex. From disclosing STIs and discussing birth control to being clear on boundaries (i.e., who can touch what), more talking means less room for fallout and ruined friendships.

2. Get boundaries locked in and abide by them

Every person has a different sexual bottom line. In a group sex dynamic, it’s essential to understand—without question—what works and doesn’t work for all individuals involved before any panties are dropped. Consent and respect are key to any sexual experience.

3. There will be awkward moments—go with it

The handful of threesomes I’ve had have ranged from meh to mind-blowing. I tend to enter such dynamics with minimal expectations, because what may be smooth in my head doesn’t always translate in bed. Sometimes strong emotions surface or someone suffers from performance anxiety (it happens). Hooking up with multiple people at once can (understandably) make one self-conscious.

4. It goes without saying, but practice safe sex

This should go without saying, but whether you’re doing it with one person or more, safe sex is a must. Wash your hands before you play. Vaginal tissue is pretty delicate and you don’t want bacteria, germs or STIs transmitted via manual sex. Know which hand has gone where. Use whatever barrier method works best for you—condoms, diaphragms, dental dams and cervical caps are all options. If you have a latex allergy, consider nitrile alternatives. Condoms are also useful to use on toys that may be shared among participants.

5. Please, don’t get drunk

Having a threesome presents plenty of logistical considerations (and possible challenges) without bringing booze or drugs into the mix. I’m all for cutting loose from time to time (bring on the bubbly!), but it’s a smart idea to keep your inhibitions in check when you’re negotiating sex—period. I rely on visual cues from my partners, and if inebriated, I’m going to have a hard time reading a situation.

The bottom line is that threesomes aren’t for everyone. There’s a fine line between being GGG (Good, Giving and Game, an abbreviation coined by sex columnist Dan Savage) and doing something solely to please a partner. Before you have sex—any kind of sex—it’s important to feel safe, comfortable and happy.

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Introduce new thrills to group fun with some of our favorite toys from Tickle Kitty:

The post 5 Tips for a Successful Threesome first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 5 Tips for a Successful Threesome appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Sexy. Sultry. Smoldering. Are you feeling turned on yet, or just exhausted at the mention of all that hot, heavy, hard work? Seduction is no easy feat when you get right down to it. Between the daily atrocities of life, like driving to the office, paying bills, and general adulting, who has time for what is essentially pre-foreplay? 

Seduction is still an art, but it’s a lot easier than you think, especially when your partner is full of testosterone. Instead of racing home from the office to several tiring hours of showering, shaving, and digging through lingerie, you can keep your guy on his toes from morning til’ night. By the time you’re both ready to hit the sack, he’ll be ready to pounce on you, with or without the lacey thong teddy and smooth legs (and then, let’s face it, you can both get some rest before your 6AM alarm tomorrow morning). 

A few subtle (and some not-so-subtle) reminders throughout the day will keep you on his mind and even looking forward to the afternoon rush hour, just so he’s a few minutes closer to finally diving into his favorite after-dinner treat. Read up and make your man the subject of your experiments in micro seduction. We promise you’ll both be getting off before midnight!

That Early Morning Touch

Most of us aren’t morning people, but at least now you’ve both got more to look forward to than brushing your teeth. Wake up just a tiny bit earlier and lay on the kisses, cuddles, and touching. If you really want to tease him, grab his package and give it a light massage, but stop before he gets too riled up. Don’t worry, he’ll get his happy ending later. If you’ve got extra time before you both head out the door, make him coffee or a light breakfast in your robe, and make sure you leave it open just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your legs and cleavage. 

Afternoon Delights

What’s better than opening up your phone at the office (away from co-workers, of course!) to find sexy pick-me-ups from your babe? Just in case the morning’s tease has now been drowned in bad break room coffee and meetings, it’s time to send him a subtle sext and remind him what’s waiting at the end of the day. Keep it light at first. Remember, he is at the office, and you don’t want to chance someone peeking at his phone or send him running to the restroom with a stiffy. Once you’ve gotten the all-clear, step it up a notch and send a shot of the enticing view down your shirt. Don’t give it all up yet; remember, seduction is the opposite of a race!

Honey, I’m Home

Send him one final sexy thought just as he’s leaving the office so he’s got something nice to ponder while trapped in gridlock traffic. Now it’s up to you both: get down and dirty the minute you walk in the door, or stretch out the seducing through dinner (or both!)? There’s nothing hotter than fantasizing for an entire day and then ripping each other’s clothes off after work. If you’d like to prolong the tease, wear something sexy yet comfortable while you make dinner, like a cozy-hot tiny pj set, and take the opportunity to grope him a bit if he’s playing chef tonight. Now that you’re done with the day’s grown-up duties, get raunchier with your moves and squeeze whatever body parts your hands crave. After spending the entire day prepping for an evening of sex, dinner might just end up in the fridge for an hour while you two release your – ahem – frustrations. The best part is that you can start the whole seduction game over again tomorrow. 

Keeping the seductive spark alive doesn’t have to steal the last of your energy. Instead of thinking of flirtation and teasing as an all-or-nothing effort, remember that it’s the little things that count for him just as much as you. A couple text messages or an affectionate morning squeeze can do wonders for your couples’ moral. If you still want to bust out the candles, heels, and lingerie, there’s always the weekend.

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Keep your partner begging for more by introducing these luxury pleasure toys to your seduction (or lovemaking) routine:

The post The Art of Seducing Your Man first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post The Art of Seducing Your Man appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

Talk of masturbation tends to be non-existent, or in hushed whispers. It’s pushed into the dark corners of society, and shoved under the covers of films, even though it’s natural, and almost everyone does it. The subject really should be introduced with the glitter and pristine unicorns it deserves because it is absolutely magical to say the least. To think about masturbation, let’s first think about having an orgasm from sex. That kind of orgasm is like hearing your favorite song on a jukebox at a diner with blinding sun shining through glass windows— it’s amazing. What masturbation is, is now having that same song conveniently on your iPhone, handing YOU the control of how many times your song is played, when it is played, how it is played, and the duration of that song. Ah, deee-licious.

Personally, the first couple of times I had sex I didn’t understand what the big deal was— that is until I masturbated for the first time. Masturbation taught me what an orgasm felt like, and what I was missing out on in my relationship. By feeling that sudden surge of electricity on my own, I was able to up my chances of feeling that with a partner.

Touching myself was key to my sexual experience. It was taking pleasure into my own hands, like tasting chocolate for the first time… but with my vagina. Without trying it, I might have never known what that indescribable rush of reaching the big O felt like. Masturbation came in handy not only in my sexual debut, but throughout all of my adult relationships. Here’s 5 reasons why masturbation is awesome, and OK to do while being fully committed to someone else:

Masturbation can enhance your sex life.

When you touch yourself, you better understand the circuitry of your body. You learn what feels amazing and what feels plain wrong. Once you know where your g-spot is, and what makes your eyes roll, you can write some cheat codes for your lover to plug in. You can also go to town on yourself during sex (since vaginal orgasms are rare), or use your skills to distract yourself if you ever decide to try anal on for size. Another bonus to masturbation is that if you watch porn while you play, you might learn some new tricks you can use on your partner, or have your partner try on you.

Masturbation relieves stress.

It turns out an orgasm a day can keep the doctor away. Carving out time for pleasure helps ease your mind and focus on something fun for a change. According to HuffPost, “masturbation… reduces depression by increasing the amount of endorphins in the bloodstream,” and helps prevent cancer, diabetes and cystitis. Furthermore, the less stress you experience, the happier you’ll be all around, which could help prevent fights or rough patches in your partnership.

On top of these health benefits, learning your body is also a great way to love yourself, and make sure the person you love is loving you right.

Masturbation can lead to a fun sexual buildup.

Not only is masturbation healthy, but it can add fire to your relationship. If you and your partner only touch yourselves for a week, you will burn for each other. If you truly trust your partner you can send videos or Skype while touching yourself in front of him or her. The anticipation from masturbating alone can ignite some firework-worthy sexcapades when you decide to reunite in the bedroom.

Masturbation can reinforce your sense of independence in your relationship.

Masturbation is helpful when your partner’s libido is on a different wavelength than yours. Perhaps your schedules aren’t matching up, your partner has been too tired lately, or just not in the mood. Whatever the reason maybe be, unless you’re dating a Duracell sex bunny (a.k.a me) your partner isn’t always going to be down for a roll in the hay. When that happens, you don’t have to wait around for someone to make you feel good. Masturbation is an empowering reminder that you don’t NEED a partner or relationship to orgasm. So use your hands, or better yet, use toys to scratch your own itches when your boo isn’t feeling it. Who knows, you might even unlock your first multiple orgasm in doing so, hell I know I did.

Masturbation is simply another form of you time.

In every relationship, it’s more than healthy to take some time apart from each other, and do your own thing. You take time to do your hair, your nails, so why not also take some time to do you? There’s no shame in doing so. You wouldn’t feel bad about playing Solitaire, would you? After all, there’s a reason Britney Spears and other artists have sung songs about tooting their own horn. The only way to uncover what their musical muse was is to find out for yourself.

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Expand your horizons and check out these top self-pleasure products:

The post Why It’s OK to Masturbate in Relationships first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post Why It’s OK to Masturbate in Relationships appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The idea of getting all sexed up for a dial-in date via my laptop or smartphone screen used to seem pretty silly. Sure, it’s hard to argue with the convenience of on-demand, albeit, cybersex. But as an extroverted introvert, I can be the life of the party, but the second I’m put on the spot and have to perform, I’m a socially awkward mess.

When you’re dating/seeing/screwing people who live in far off places, you have to resort to desperate, I mean, different, more creative measures. And if you’re a human with a high sex drive, Kik chat, text and Facebook messages don’t entirely cut it in the pleasure department.

As soon as I got the confidence to strip down for long distance lovers, Skype, FaceTime and WhatsApp became my go-tos for the virtual Big-O. What was once awkward and intimidating put a seductive visual twist on “it’s good to hear your voice.” Think phone sex or sexting, but on steroids.

Here’s how I embraced a sizzling hot digital sex life:

1. Create a sexy space

In reality, virtual voyeurs are only going to see a tiny snippet of my living space. They’re never going to see the stack of dirty dishes in the sink or the piles of unfolded laundry. Still, it doesn’t stop me from creating a space in which I feel sexy. I generally don’t need to make my bed for cybersex, but will light a candle, adjust my lighting, and if I’m feeling especially frisky, put on some Al Green in the background. Because nothing and no one beats this man in sexy time music.

2. Think about appearance

I don’t put a ton of effort into my day-to-day appearance. Sure, I work out regularly, wear SPF (despite living in Seattle) and can pull it together when necessary. But I’m in no way a makeup-every-day, matchy-matchy kind of gal. (I also work from home.) When I make plans to “see” a virtual playdate, I try to present my best self. There’s a bit of exhibitionism involved with fueling online fantasies and I prep for the part, whether it’s wearing skimpy lingerie, doing a slow tease or indulging a hot mommy roleplay.

3. Request verbal consent

I’m not one to strip down in a hot second for strangers on the internet superhighway, whether it’s via sexting or having digital sex. I’ve been the victim of naked photos falling into the wrong hands, thankfully, well before the dawn of social media. When playing with a new partner via Skype, FaceTime or WhatsApp, play it safe. Always get verbal confirmation that risqué screenshots and recordings are not OK to share. There’s no absolute guarantee that someone won’t still violate your sexual privacy, so proceed with caution.

4. Make eye contact

IMO, eye contact is the ultimate foreplay. A person can send a bolt of electricity through my entire body with a penetrative gaze. To be slowly undressed by one’s eyes is such a primal tease. With a look, a partner can convey power, confidence and send nervous butterflies to my stomach. Eye contact is one of the easiest ways to create and deepen a connection. The more you practice, the easier it will be to perfect this important skill.

5. Stay in the moment

Don’t dilute the moment by checking your smartphone. There’s nothing more annoying than getting all hot and bothered, many miles away from your sweetie, only to hear and a notification tone and “I’m listening,” as their eyes wander elsewhere. Do yourself (and your partner) a favor, by trying to stay present. If you live far apart, make your limited amount of pseudo-in-person time count.

6. Be vocal

When you take touch out of the equation, it helps to make up for the lack of physical connection elsewhere. One way to satisfy erotic desires is by being verbal. Don’t be shy! Speak clearly and paint a sexy picture for your partner with your words – between “oohs”, purrs and moans, of course. You don’t have to be loud or particularly dirty to step up the sexy in a cyber date.

7. Solo or mutual masturbation

If one partner is too shy to perform, but is game, one partner can get off while the other one watches. If both people are comfortable taking pleasure into their own hands on camera, mutual masturbation can be a super-hot way for couples to connect. Don’t be afraid to bring sex toys into the mix. Right now, there are a variety of Bluetooth sex toys on the market that create a more (wink, wink) interactive experience.

How do you stay connected to lovers and loved ones from afar? Send us a tweet at @TickleKitty. We want to hear your sexy time tips and tricks!

***

The post 7 Tips for Steamy FaceTime Sex first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post 7 Tips for Steamy FaceTime Sex appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.

My ex’s porn was what brought up my first deeply insecure sexual revelation. As I began typing out a web search, predicative text tattled on him. Several phrases came up regarding porn featuring pegging, the act of a woman wearing a harness and using a dildo to penetrate a man. I was repulsed at the idea of “wearing” a cock, but I was also just twenty-one. I thought, I am certainly not going to be doing that for him, and then I thought,  well, at least he’s getting this desire filled somewhere.

And then I considered why I felt so strongly about it. Luckily, I happened to work at a feminist sex shop, so in addition to knowing I needed to work through some funky programming I had around sex, I also had a group of experts at my disposal. My employer, a doctor and professor of human sexuality, asked me if the idea of wearing a bedazzled harness and sparkly pink dildo would make me feel less averse.

It did not.

I talked and talked about ways to get over my intense aversion to this specific sex act to no avail. I had to let my boyfriend know what I’d found. He reacted defensively. Despite my inability to embrace or eroticize his interest, I let him know that it was totally okay that he liked something that freaked me out—it wasn’t hurting anyone, and he got off on it. His shame over being found out dissipated and my nerves around offending him calmed. After settling into our newfound shared knowledge, I continued pursuing getting cozy with pegging. Eventually, after months of nothing working, I bought myself some pegging supplies and surprised him—after I’d sunk two margaritas—for our anniversary.

To my astonishment, pegging was just sex. There was nothing weird about it at all! In fact, the reversal of being the one who needed to be patient, warm up my partner and choose the pace was really fun! I had been terrified of this totally normal sexual act up until the moment I tried it. It was a revelation.

Instantly—after months of trying everything but trying it—it was completely normal.

What I’ve learned as a sexual being and sex educator is that we tend to have knee-jerk reactions around insecurities. For me, with pegging, I was afraid that not only would my partner prefer me to have a penis and that my own anatomy wasn’t “enough,” but also that he would eventually come out as gay. Admittedly, this is a very naïve way of thinking, but I was very naïve. My thought was that he’d hid his sexual desires from me, so how was I to know what else could have been tucked away in the crevasses of his insecurity? Ironically, while that ex is years in the rearview, my own husband and I enjoy pegging on the regular and we mutually get off on our shared bisexuality. You never know how your sexuality will unfold or what new things will peak your interest, but it will become more rewarding with every new experience you choose.

It doesn’t have to be something like pegging to work on getting more comfortable with your sexuality. It could be that the idea of doggy style freaks you out, or perhaps you recoil when your partner suggests checking out a sex toy shop. Maybe you’re uncomfortable making yourself orgasm during penetration. Maybe you cannot wrap your head around why your date likes to be handcuffed and blindfolded, let alone peed on. Maybe it’s something you’re too freaked out by to even type into the search bar.

Wherever you’re at in your sexual process, know that there’s great power looking your fears in the eye and questioning them. Exploring your interests and aversions doesn’t necessarily mean you need to or will get over them (or into them) but it does allow you to get to know them, and yourself in the process.

Here are four steps to take you past your fears, toward an even better sex life.

1. Talk

An important part of normalizing the behavior you’re working on is to talk about it with a friend, partner, or therapist. Simply by airing it out, you relieve a little bit of the pressure that’s built up around the topic. Once you’ve done this a few times, it will feel a lot less charged.

2. Research

Try finding a few different porn videos or erotica stories about the thing you’re feeling negatively about and see if they turn you on. Allow yourself room for zero self-judgement, just see how your body reacts. Read up on your topic of choice and get to know it as intimately as possible.

3. If You’re Partnered, Establish Openness

One of the problems detailed above is a sense of needing to hide information and feelings. Shame does not protect you, it only inhibits your ability to grow. By establishing an open line of communication via check-ins, bringing up new ideas and even uncomfortable ones, and responding to that communication in nonjudgmental but honest ways, your relationship will have room to grow, and you and your partner will be able to grow together.

4. Try it

When all else fails, if you feel like giving it a shot before calling it quits, go for it. You may surprise yourself! In the end, you are not required to “get over” anything. It does not make you a better person for putting yourself through more discomfort, and the only person who can decide that you need to overcome anything is you.

Working on these feelings is tough, but it’s also freeing. And you have the power to choose.

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Getting over your insecurities can be done in small or big steps, at your own pace. A new bedroom friend might be just what you need to take your first strides today!

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The post How I Overcame Insecurities About Pegging My Man first appeared on Tickle Kitty Blog.

The post How I Overcame Insecurities About Pegging My Man appeared first on Tickle Kitty Blog.